Holidaze

I'm certainly one to embrace our furry feline friends, (and not necessarily embrace blatant advertising on TNSC site) but who thought that this was a good idea? I will give them points for the key change, though.

Of course, there's always the seasonal favorite: Sober Santa. (use arrows to navigate)

Wishing you and yours a happy 2009 Holiday Season!!
























A fond Xmas memory from a MAD™ Magazine sometime in my youth:


"We three clods from Omaha are
Spending Christmas Eve in a car
Driving, drinking,
Glasses clinking,
Who needs a lousy bar?

Ohh...
Drink to Charlie. Drink to Paul
Drink to friends we can't recall
Swerving, speeding
Signs unheeding
Drink to anything at all.

We three clods are feeling no pain
Drunk as skunks with booze on the brain
Senses losing
'Til we're cruising
Into a wrong way lane.

Ohh...
Drink to Melvin. Drink to Fred
Drink to those two trucks ahead
Headlights flashing
Screeching, crashing
Drink till they pronounce us dead."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Beee-zeeee!!

Yep. All this week. While I recover, please enjoy

"Booze of the World" and "Boozecats". (Be sure to hover over pictures for delightful commentary)










(I can't believe I'm posting this... again...)













"What I did on my vacation
For the last ten years.
Took pictures of your town
Plaid perfume on my breath.
I mean I've been drinking Scotch
While touring through your town."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Great Minds Think Alike

Those minds being TNSC members & Robots

Tama (pr0n robot) (love how it veers toward pizza in the middle) and Josh (metal overlord). Both are informative and insightful.










(I can't believe I'm posting this)













"The piano has been drinking
My necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York
The jukebox has to take a leak."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Pete & Repeat

When is the last time that you heard a robot complain? I've been sofaking slammed this past week that I just didn't have any time to root out some fabulous new links for y'all. So, in lieu of presenting none at all, here are some updates to some of my new favorites:

eMails from an Asshole and People of Walmart™.

Both are an amazing view of our fair country.

















um.... get me a fuckin' drink?





"The bartender just lets my tab slide.
Who's takin' who here for a ride?
For a while...
At the Starlight Lounge..."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Steel Cut

As a rule, I don't like warm breakfast items. But sometimes I just loves me some oatmeal. With bacon, of course.


























"Like a cool Daiquiri,
With the twist of a lime,
I could get used to this,
All of the time.

I could get used to it!.



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Crack Tubes!!

Just about everything can be found on the YouTubes™.

From emergency cork extractio to crooning computers.





















The bartenders eyes are full of pity
As he tells her "You're alone and its 2:30.
All the chairs are on the table and it's time to close!"
She said "A minute ago they were starin' at me
Where the hell did they go?"
And she went out to paint the town.



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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2 Loves Have I

Everyone that is remotely familiar with me knows that I love two things:

Bacon. and Coffee. (oh... and beer and Martini's, too!!)


















"Young girls and gin may be the cure,
Young girls and gin may be the cure,
I`m talking just as good as you stay pure,
Young girls and gin may be the cure."





Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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BOB SAGET!!

If you haven't seen it, this is one of the coolest uses of the internet that I've seen in a long time. It's pretty self-explanatory.

You know that I'm getting low on Linkies when I have to resort to some that I've loaded in the chamber, but never pulled the trigger on: "Computer Tourettes".
If you have PC's at work, it's a pretty great prank - until you have to run from the IT guy.

Hell... while we're at it, I'll even throw in REAL tourettes guy.























"Hangin' with my friends
We were doing slammers
They tried to get me hammered
I said "No!"
But they insisted"





Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Screenwriter's Blues

Your Cadillac breathes four hundred horses over blue lines...
you are going to Reseda to make love to a model from Ohio whose real name you don't know....

From all across the continental US... The People of Wal-Mart Thanks Jeremy!! Dig deep in this one, folks!!

And for those times you're not able to get out of the house to shop, there's always the QVC™ optio .. (thanks JPo)


























"Exits to freeways
Twisted like knots on
The fingers.
Jewels cleaving
Skin between....
Breasts."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Bottom of the Barrel

The masses are always spoiled by "best of" lists that permeate websites, books and other mass media. San Francisco usually ranks high on most of these. But I just ran across the 20 Worst Bars in America and see that the "Bow Wow Cocktail Lounge" in North Beach made the list. We have to try that place some Thursday night. (I also noticed that 2 were in Chicago)

And for you "economical" or do-it-yourself folks (or for those who just don't want to wait for Thursday, here are the recipes for 13 adult beverages that you can make at home. Todd, take note!!





















"Drink at the bar nothing bar anything
But the bottom step of the ladder
It keeps getting higher and higher
Dawn comes soon enough for the working class
It keeps getting sooner or later
This is the game that moves as you play"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Crying in My Beer

Were the late 80's/early 90's really a happy time? The music kind of reflected some joy. Politics, not so much. I met my soon-to-be-wife and got married then, so it was happy for me. But, I have to ask, did people really need to drop $2 on some sadness? And does that # still work?

That, of course, reminded me of the very odd Crying While Eating. There are some pretty good ones in there.























"I'm the baddest of the bad since you've been gone
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone
I lay around here and I just drink beer
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Stuff It

I received a hilarious link from long-time TNSC member Jason Porter: TWO Crappy Taxidermy. Sift through these if you have the time. You'll find some GEMS in there!!

And though we all can't be a former President of a global superpower, we can still drink like one. We've all been there before. I've always said that pants are overrated.




























"I stop at the 7-11
To get a 6-pack to go
But a 40 oz. now is all I can afford
Cuz my bank account is getting so low"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Bipolar

I feel that it's no fluke that I received not one, but TWO "THIS" or "THAT" quizzes from TNSC members this week.

So I pass them on to you. Good luck. Thanks Brady & Jared!































"Don't throw the whiskey bottles on the lowest lying shelves
Easily accessible to tiny little elves
Neighbors start to gossip when our children start to play
Crown Royal™ bags are mittens on a cold Winter's day

Please don't take the baby to the liquor store
That's not the kind of bottle he's been crying for
Take the milk money and walk right out the door
But please don't take the baby to the liquor store"




Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Sigma Tappa Kegga

Continuing on my bacon-based train-of-thought, here's a look at the World's Longest BLT. Of course it's from St. Louis, it's toasted, and it's 7 pages long. Check it!!

And if you were ever thinking about throwing a party and wondering about Kegged Beer Volumetrics, look no further.



























"Lucky Strike filters every night and day
A shot of Jack Black and I'm ready to play
I know it ain't healthy but it's quite alright
Till I find a woman better than Lucky Strikes....
I'll keep drinkin' and smokin' cigarettes!"




Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Here's My Card

In this world of conservative corporate practices, when "less is more", when a business card has gone from a physical paper product, to a Palm™ Pilot "beam", to an iPhone "bump".

But now I've found the ULTIMATE calling card: the MEATCARD. Oh yeah.

Be sure to check out not only the card-making process itself, but the extended Reproduction Challenge based on the artwork of Frank Frazetta.


























"Young girls and gin may be the cure,
Young girls and gin may be the cure,
I'm talking just as good as you stay pure,
Young girls and gin may be the cure."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Almost Famous

Each and every one of you has at one time or another attained success in your personal and professional lives. Many of us know, or are close to someone who has achieved some degree of public stardom in their life or career. Their "15 minutes", if you will. Sailor Jerry™ aficionado Tim Pries was a housemate with groundbreaking actress, performance artist, and human sexuality instructor Dr. Annie Sprinkle. TNSC Honorary Founding Member Mathias Genser was a high school classmate with adult star Nina Hartley. (I don't know how this gravitated to pr0n)

Some people go beyond just knowing someone, and actually taking the reins and doing it themselves.

That said, it has recently been brought to my attention that Tim has taken it to the next level with his latest instructional video for the soon-to-be-famous Assmaster™. Don't worry. It's safe for work. See it now before it flies off the YouTube™ charts!!

Which reminds me.... THIS about?



























"Yeah, the Starlight Lounge
Is a happy little place.
A really fun place where
You can lose your face.

And all of my friends
Including me are insane.
It's a little hide-a-way
To hide away from the pain. "



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Fe

I was thinking back to the state of things 12+ years ago when TNSC™ was founded... we were all young, life was booming in the dot.com era, and Iron Chef ruled the airwaves. I was reminded of one of several drinking games that were created to accompany the show. A challenge like that would usually leave everyone as giggly and giddy as Anemone.



And in a totally unrelated subject (probably because I've spent a little time in LA lately), let's all check in on everyone's favorite: Hot Chicks w/ Douchebags.






























"You don't have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
(hic!!) I'm drunk."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Green w/ Envy

In my quest to bring links to you, among them all things bacon-related, I even post ones with titles and concepts that I'm in direct disagreement with. I'm just that kind of guy.

Oy... I think that my arteries are making my liver jealous.

I found this amusing little story in the Sunday NY Times. Makes me wonder why I never had kids.


Stoopid Blogger™ isn't allowing me to upload pictures. Sorry.




"The doctor says I'm livin'
On precious borrowed time,
With all the time I'm givin'
To liquor beer and wine.

The X-rays of my liver,
look like molded old swiss cheese,
My heart pumps blood and alcohol,
Through hardened arteries."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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RIP

Gotta be quick, since I'm really busy this week, but I just thought that I'd remind you of your own mortality - just to keep things in perspective, of course. (I'm raising a glass to Sam Butera, myself).


And speaking of mortality, WTF is THIS about?. Don't miss the backside, either.























"Like a cool Daiquiri,
With the twist of a lime
I could get used to this
All of the time.
I could get used to it!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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I'd Like to Buy a Vowel

Years ago when many of us worked at Western Images, there was the daily occurrence of trying to figure out where to get a group of compositors, animators, schedulers and producers to come to agreement on a lunch destination. If memory serves me correctly, one of the CG guys wrote a "Random Lunch Generator" script that ran on the CG computer network, and eliminated the guesswork for us. Now anyone and his brother can create said generator. Just add zip code. I added "beer" instead of "lunch", and found that it works WAY better.


Here are some TNSC-endorsed products for better living.























"Smoke in one hand
Looking for a light
Martini in the other hand
Pointing out midnight"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Duty Now for the Future

I was doing a little music video research recently and came across this "soundie" for "The Texas Strip". Word on the street is that it was the inspiration for the music video that got me into the industry - Devo's "Whip It".

DEVO founder, and some time TNSC attendee Gerald V. Casale claims that they had never seen it before now.

Thank you Oddball Films for making that connectio .

That reminds me, co-worker Blade Ladish (and DEVO neighbor) recently got a new tattoo that was featured on the band's website:






























"So drink some big beers and go crazy tonight
They're all dressed up and they'll be gettin' it tonight
Big swingers in double knits tonight
Big babies gonna get in a fight."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Boom!!

For all of you "kids" out there - before the iPod™, before the Walkman™, portable high-fidelity music roamed the earth in the form of the "Boombox". This retrospective is comprehensive as all get out!!

As a TNSC "Public Service Announcement", here's a quick refresher on how to tie a bowtie. NSFW? Not really. Better than the alternatives.

























"Quietly here I'll sleep.
I won't even make a peep.
You won't even know I'm here.
Just letting you know that we're out of beer.

Couch surfin!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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190th

I'm not sure what's funnier the emails themselves or the commentary.

In the "best of both worlds" category, I can now apparently drink beer from both a can AND a bottle! I love America.

But wait!! There's more!! We'll throw in this Beer Can House!!!
























"Baby boom or "X",
I don`t know what I am,
All I need to know is when it`s time to slam.
Threw a little party cause it just felt right,
It lasted ten years and it`s goin` on tonight."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Eye Oh Ewe

Like the California Government, I'm issuing IOU's myself. Cocktail IOU's. Redeem them tonight in person.

Until then, I just want to thank Lee Lee the Musical Bee for helping a fella out by submitting not one, but two Linkeys for this week.

With him being musical, and all, the first is all about Sax and Violins. John Coltrane, eat your heart out.

And for the "Handyman Appreciation Society", please enjoy There, I Fixed It! Holy fuck, that's funny.

Thanks, Lee!!!






























"My right hand holds a cold Corona™ bottle
My left hand holds a half a fifth of Gin
My right arm reaches out for her love only
But my left still embraces a life of sin."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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