Randomz

Every now and then I like to check in to see what the , resident asshole is up to. So damn funny.

And who said that billboard advertising isn't timely?















"It's hard to beleive I've gone and done it again
Went to a place to see all of my friends
One little sip and now look at me
If this bar were school I'd have a degree."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Travel Tips II

In our continuing travel trivia, 35 Secrets Your Pilot Won't Tell You. Glad I'm sticking around the house this Holiday Season.

Let's check in to see what's happening in There, I Fixed It!






















"What I did on my vacation
For the last ten years
Took pictures of your town
Plaid perfume on my breath
I mean I've been drinking Scotch
While touring through your town."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Travel Tips

Some of you may have experienced it this past weekend, many of you may in the upcoming month. But TNSC is just making sure that you're fully suited up for impending air travel. Do so w/ fine high-tech 4th Amendment wear. Stick it to the TSA!!

And they're always the low-tech option. Love that the earrings make it through.

























"I'll explain in the morning
Baby that's no lie,
But tonight little honey,
I'm oh so high.

I'm just happy to he beer
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
Because the kitchen bright's too light."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Winter Training

So now that baseball season is over, it's going to be a long spell until Spring Training rolls around. I'm looking into one of these to help keep me occupied. Wait. What?!? That's way too expensive for a chunk of broken wood.



There is also always this.




















"My right hand holds a cold Corona™ bottle
My left hand holds a half a fifth of Gin
My right arm reaches out for her love only
But my left still embraces a life of sin."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Fuc*in' Computers

I'm seriously thinking about something like this!

That's all you get till next week.


















Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Fall Fitness

Just as I suspected, I'm quite possibly healthy as a horse! Or at least should be. I'm certainly down with the 16oz power-lifts.
























"Dirty, dry, up or in between,
From the very first sip you know what I mean,
When you're out with a babe you don't nickel or dime,
Guessin' that means it's Martini time!" >Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Sometimes...

... one just needs a reminder. Other times, just a cat in a sink.























"Smoke in one hand looking for a light
Martini in the other hand
Pointing out midnight."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Alien Secretio

Fallout from the plethora of "web v1.5" sites that allow viewer submissio s - like Webtender (I love how their interface hasn't been updated in 12 years), now bring us the "dark side" - aka "the 10 Nastiest Cocktails in Human History". Thanks for the visual reinforcement.

I do like music, and though I'm not the most religious person, I do appreciate Slayer Goes to Church.

















"Loco Gringos like a party with five bales of hay!
Jumpin' in the dumpster with Pepe, ole!
Loco Gringos like a party
And they like their women firm.
And when they drink tequila
They fight for the worm."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Cracked Rear View

1. I had heard that quaint expressio long before Hootie and the Blowfish ruined it.

2. I witnessed much of it in Hawaii. Some good. Some bad.

Who said that drunks never have any aspiratio s?

Oh. It's satire. Sorry. But it's pretty fu*kin' funny.

















"I'll be one wild man, I'll drink and dance all fine
Baby if you leave, I'll have me one white line
So if you start that car and drive it down the street
Roll your window down your gonna feel that beat

Yea, yea, yea i'll be party mad
And for all the while you'll wish for what we had"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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The Garden Island

Vacationing this past week on Kauai has been fantastic. And we're not done yet. TNSC mid-Pacific would like to share a few historical facts about the Westernmost island of the Hawaiian chain (at least how they apply to me):

• Frank Sinatra performed at the Kauai County Fair in 1954. The performance signaled the beginning of public acceptance his re-ascent into the performer that earned him the crown "Greatest Performer of the 20th Century". He also almost drowned here in 1964 while shooting "None but the Brave".

• Elvis'most commercially successful film "Blue Hawaii" (1961) was shot here at the now dilapidated "Coco Palms".

• Hurricane Iniki (1992) wiped out the sets of Jurrasic Park on the final day of shooting. All 130 crew members (including a young "Spaz" Williams) were safely relocated out of harm's way.

If you guys want more "actual" history, please consult TNSC list members and Hawaii natives Heather Lake and Megan Callan. They'll regale you w/ more interesting trivia.

The other awesome thing about Hawaii is that there are lawns EVERYWHERE. And all of them seem freshly shorn and lushly green at all times. Which reminded me... I figured that I'd find this story in one of the Hawaiian papers... but alas, it's from California.
















"The bartender just
Lets my tab slide
Who's takin' who here
For a ride?

For a while...
At the Starlight Lounge."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Double Rainbow

Well actually, it's really about weight and viscosity, but impressive nonetheless.


Also, the greatest booze dispensers. Pretty "Asimo", I'd say. (Please note that the "BaR2D2" had been previously featured in Linkey-Loo. The "Wine Rack", too!!)
























"Dirty, dry up, or in between,
From the very first sip you know what I mean.
When you're out with a babe you don't nickel or dime,
Guessin' that means it's Martini time!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

This Page Intentionally Left Blank.

... again. It's that kind of busy.
































Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Booze News (Local Editio )

Perusing the local news and blogs this past week, I came across a couple of stories that may or may not affect you. Odds are they will.

The first is about the SF Board of Supervisors latest maneuver.


The second is a more "nostalgic" piece entitled "Bring Back the Bartender". I appreciate the art, ingenuity and craft that goes into these liquid "gifts" that we receive... but I see the writer's point. That's why I like dives.












"I'm calling in sick
I'm calling in twisted
I was drinking two-fisted
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

Hanging with friends
We were doing slammers
They try and get me hammered
Boss, I said 'No'
But they insisted"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Cocktail Trees

Not to drive home the obvious... but get out there and have a cocktail or two... for your health!! Take that, teetotalers!! (Thank you Time Magazine & Heather Lake for passing that one on)

And from TNSC stalwart, Jason Porter, please enjoy hungover owls. What a hoot!! (kill me now)



















"They come together
To flirt and to tease
In the dimly lit shade
Under the Cocktail Trees
Under the Cocktail Trees"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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This Page Intentionally Left Blank.
































Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Jet Age

This isn't something that I've really given a lot of thought to before, but I really think that I want a private jet. That would rule. Click through the awesome collection.

I also recently ran across a posting of an amazing, Eastman/Kodak 1922 Kodachrome color film test. The images are mesmerizing.

















"What i did on my vacation
For the last ten years
Took pictures of your town
Plaid perfume on my breath
I mean I've been drinking scotch
While touring through your town."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Excellence

Though I'm not a fan of either Vodka or Grapefruit Juice, I do appreciate an Excellent Italian Greyhound. [let it get 3 minutes into the piece to really kick in]
Thank you TNSC list members Carl "Freshie" Kaphan & Chris "Math Rock" Hamilton for the link. Special shout out to Ty Bardi for providing accommodations to Bob Weston whenever Shellac passes through town.

My lovely wife actually submitted a link, via NPR, about, of all things, beer.


























"Baby boom or "X",
I don't know what I am,
All i need to know is when it's time to slam,
Threw a little party cause it just felt right,
It lasted ten years and it's goin' on tonight!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Is There an Engineer in da Boof?

Quick!! You're chance to win some authentic local MTV memorabilia courtesy of "Puck™"!! Who?

I like Pabst Blue Ribbon™. It's my new go-to "lawnmower beer". It's a great thirst-quencher and very inexpensive. So what in the hell is it doing in China?!?















"Drink at the bar nothing bar anything
But the bottom step of the ladder
It keeps getting higher and higher.

Dawn comes soon enough for the working class
It keeps getting sooner or later
This is the game
That moves as you play"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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100 Watt Idea


A recently released Gallup Poll reveals some interesting trends, indeed. What did we learn? I just want to know how many well paid, atheistic women are there in the ranks of TNSC?

And commendations to the fine folks at New York Magazine who put together: "How to Drink Like a Mad Man".















"Liquor, beer, and wine
Is the flashing sign I see
Ever single morning I get up
It's buzzing down at me.

I look up to the heaven's
For a ray of hope to shine
And there it is in neon,
Liquor beer and wine."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Baseball & Michael Bay


Baseball has always been a family sport. That's goin' yard!

And from the blog of long-time TNSC list member Heather Lake: Revenge of the Nerds. My favorite part is :35 in. But then I'm always a sucker for inebriated robots. And God just may hate Michael Bay.


I think that Josh would agree on both counts.



















"I been drinkin' and smokin' cigarettes.
I been lookin' for a woman I have not met.
I have not found her yet.
Til' I do it's a sure fire bet.
I'll be drinkin' and smokin cigarettes!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Good vs. Evil


Unlike FOX™ News, we at TNSC really are "fair and balanced". No kidding. Except maybe around last-call - but that's another story.

Thanks to Camper English, here's a little compilation of "Good/Bad" booze claims so you can decide for yourself.

Pr0n robot, Tama, passes on the Awesome Drunk Internet Hall-of-Fame. Word to the wise. Avoid cameras and the intertron. Just saying.




















"It's hard to beleive I've gone and done it again,
Went to a place to see all of my friends.
One little sip and now look at me,
If this bar were school I'd have a degree!
You gotta hand it to me."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Lists


Awesome coverage of 12 Unfortunate Beards & Mustaches for a Mugshot.

Since I'm in advertising, and am fond of of men's after-shave, I thought I'd pass on 42 Greatest Old Spice™ Commercials. I'm partial to #2, for some reason.


Oh... Happy Birthday Jason!
























"Last night I had a run in with an old friend of mine
Everthing was cool, everyone was feeling fine yeah!!
Then he went up and hit me with the old dance floor
Lawsutis pending won't be the same no more no!!

I'm gonna sue Jack Daniels for
Hitting me with a trunk of a big ol' live oak tree.
He hurt me this morning with the bright sun light
I'm gonna sue Jack Daniels for what he did to my face last night!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Potpourri


As part of our continued public service to our TNSC family, we give you this handy little tip if you're ever caught short without a corkscrew. I think that it works even w/o subtitles or Hush Puppies™.

Longtime TNSC list member Chris Hamilton submits this fine "Struttin' video. Chris has always had an affinity for the South.

Lastly, in what reads like a cross-sectio of TNSC venues, here is an alphabetized list of places to get wasted and do blow in San Francisco. I can say with absolute certainty that TNSC has visited 33 of the following establishments:























"I'm just happy to he beer
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
Because the kitchen bright's too light!

Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby...
You don't have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
**hic!!** I'm drunk!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Biannual Checkup


Just like visiting the doctor or dentist (and we're at that mid-year point), here's a "checkup" with a couple of our favorite Linkeys:

People of Walmart™ and Hot Chicks with Douchebags.





















"Like a cool Daiquiri,
With the twist of a lime,
I could get used to this
All of the time.

I could get used to it!
I could get used to it!
I thought it would be bad
But it didn't hurt a bit
Ohhh!! Baby, I could get used to it!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Worst of the Worst


I'll make it quick:

15 worst logo fails ever.

55 worst tattoos ever.


















"Yeah, the Starlight Lounge
is a happy little place.
A really fun place where
you can lose your face.

And all of my friends
including me are insane.
It's a little hide-a-way
to hide away from the pain."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Oxymornonic


I see the researchers at University of Cincinnati & Moscow State University have been hard at work unlocking the science behind Vodka's tasty secrets. What?!?

And a few words of advice on what NOT to do after returning home from a fun-filled Thursday Night Social Club. Words to live by. (I personally love all of the auto-generated Google™ ads that accompany the link)


















"We knocked another couple back
The dead soldiers lined up on the table
Still prepared for an attack
They didn't know they'd been disabled
Felt a wave, a rush of blood,
You won't be happy 'til the bottle's broken
You're out swimming in the flood
You kept back, you kept unspoken

For someone half as smart, you'd be a work of art
You put yourself apart
And I can't help you until you start"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.