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(happy new year)

Bad Santa

Need some last minute gift ideas for that kid on your Xmas list? Check out Santa's Evil Toys.

And just in case you're not the wrapping paper and Scotch™ tape kind of gift wrapper, and are in need of some other bonding agents, use the handy "This to That" bonding generator.























Merry Xmas, y'all!!



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Phantom Spirits

A title suitable for October, but recently brought to my attention by longtime TNSC list member, Heather Lake. It's not really ghostly, but rather a line of high-speed video cameras from Vision Research, conveniently (for our purposes) named "Phantom".

Let's take a look at what happens when high-speed photography meets cocktails.
















"My right hand holds a cold Corona™ bottle
My left hand holds a half a fifth of Gin.
My right arm reaches out for her love only
But my left still embraces a life of sin ."


Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Meanwhile...

... over in the WTF department.


Also... being freelance... I miss the "traditional" Xmas office party.























"I stubbed my toe
On the kitchen sink.
I was just gonna go
Get me somethin' to drink.

My cigarette flew
And it couldn't be found!
Lucky I didn't burn
Your whole house down."


Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Bad Santa

As it's officially December, I can now start posting Xmas links. Long time list member Heather Lake recently submitted this quaint Santa liquor dispenser. I suggest you fill it with either a good bourbon, or perhaps even Galliano for that more authentic "look".
























"Don't store the whiskey bottles on the lowest lying shelves
Easily accessible to tiny little elves.
Neighbors start to gossip when our children start to play
Crown Royal™ bags aren't mittens on a cold Winter's day."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Mow

Since I can't personally participate in "Movember", I'll direct you to someone who can.













"One Bourbon
One Scotch
One Beer."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Here Today...

... Gone to Maui



























Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Don't Talk Back!!

Like some women I know... celebrating 60 years of non-stop flapping. ZING!!!


And what mischief is TNSC list-member Heather Lake getting herself into? A recent VISA bill (obtained online through the Freedom of Information Act) reveals that she may have been doing some "inappropriate shopping".••

••Note: 3rd purchase item. She swears up & down that it was a purchase for a seminar during the recent "San Francisco Cocktail Week", but I have my doubts.




















"It's the drunk
In my past
Shuffling by like a train

Sounds on it's track
Like a ride
Like a ride that don't last

Swears each drink
Is the last
Tells the same lie each night

And breaks every promise
Til she makes me go crazy
She's gonna drive me to drinking."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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The Final Frontier

For some reason, the chief robot found this funny. I figured that I'd post it so he doesn't revoke my Linkey-Loo card.


Speaking of, where's Allen Funt when you most need him? (that's how I'd like MY cocktails shaken, I tell you what)















(photo courtesy of J Po)




"It's hard to believe I've gone and done it again
Went to a place to see all of my friends
One little sip and now look at me
If this bar were school I'd have a degree."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Drink Like a Superhero

Longtime TNSC list member Heather Lake passes along this little gem sponsored by the government of the Northwest Territories of Canada. I give you Captain Al Cohol.

Some call it entertainment. I call it propaganda. At least he's never hurting for ice.

Here's a scan of the entire book here.




















"'Baby boom' or 'X',
I don't know what I am,
All I need to know is when it's time to slam.
Threw a little party cause it just felt right,
It lasted ten years and it's goin' on tonight!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Special K

As I was out-of-town this past weekend, I returned home to see that my DVR dutifully recorded FOX's "Sunday Night Line-up". Last night, as I continued my viewing, "The Simpsons" came on and my jaw dropped. The animator commissioned for the opening couch segment was none other than Ren & Stimpy creator (and good friend of Spaz), John Kricfalusi. AKA John K.

This made me think back to the time at Western Images circa 2000, when Spaz brought John K by the studio to meet all of us. I was unfortunately out of town for work (again) that day, so I handed over my precious Ren Hoek talking plush doll to Josh, and he took it, along with his Stimpy talking plush doll, to be signed by Mr. Kricfalusi himself.

Josh relayed to me how the signing played out:

John K took the Stimpy doll, turned it over so that it was ass up. Utilizing a thick black Sharpie™, he created an asterisk in the center of Stimpy's backside. He then placed a circle the asterisk, and proceeded to add a "J HN K" around it. Awesome.


Here is the final animation as seen on the Simpsons. (the hand-held camera, full voices & Warner Brothers sound effects complete the picture)



















"I lay around here
And just drink beer
I'm the baddest of the bad
Since you've been gone."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

6º

Yes we've all been there. Even Charlie Sheen.


To all of my vegetarian friends, I say: It's time to get your font on!!!























"I'm just happy to he beer
Home for the nest of the right.
I'll explain in the morning,
Because the kitchen bright's too light."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Fred Foamy

I've got a baaaaaad feeling about this.


"One Bourbon.
One Scotch.
One beer."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Land o' Lakes Links

More vintage Playboy™ scans (this one from 1963). Says NSFW, but I don't see why.

Also, a quick internatio al geography lesso .


Thanks for the submissio , Heather!
















"I live my life on a layer of ice
Just like those poured by my bartender, 'Vice'
Any taste of vermouth should be really sublime
When you have a good Martini Time!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Possessed

One of the most awesome Death Metal renditions of "Blues in the Night" that I've ever seen. (courtesy of Rob Thomas - not the "Matchbox 20" guy, thank god).

Todd Lindo, this one's for you!




















"Rockabilly guys like hot rod cars
They like hot women and their neighborhood bar
Death metal guys will grow long hair
Work real hard to have an evil stare
They're kind of medieval
Those death metal guys"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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It's About That Time...

To check in with the latest installment of People of Walmart.

So awesome.




















"Loco gringos like a party
With five bails of, hay!
Jumpin' in the dumpster with pepe, ole!
Loco gringos like a party
And they like their women firm
And when they drink tequila
They fight for the worm!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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The Anti-Austerity League

Yep. Apparently some people just have money to burn. (link courtesy of TNSC member Heather Lake)

Since I don't have any spawn of my own, I'm just going to come right out and say it - your kid's art sucks!! (there are some GEMS in there!)





















"Don't need tequila candy with the worm inside
It's hard for him to swallow, as well as our pride
His dirty feet might dangle like it's some fun ride
But it's not a grocery basket when there's booze inside"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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SN&PB

Just so you know, Soldering is Easy.


And all that I have to say is thank goodness that the dreaded Pay TV concept never took off.

















"Hanging with friends
We were doing slammers
They try and get me hammered
Boss, I said 'No!'
But they insisted."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Shut Your Mouth!!

I recently ran across this historically interesting (and incredibly creepy) site about ventriloquist dummies .

And Photoshopped, or not, these augmented signs are hilarious.






















"I look up to the heavens
For a ray of hope to shine.
And there it is in neon,
Liquor, beer, and wine."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Stats

In these times of austerity, the Linkey-Loo Robot gives you a handy little guide to getting the most booze bang for your buck. Of course, this doesn't apply on Thursday evenings. (courtesy of H. Lake)

And women... don't forget... it's a Man's World out there. If you wear a necktie, that is. (courtesy of LLMB)




















"The bartender just
Lets my tab slide.
Who's takin' who here
For a ride?

For a while...
At the Starlight Lounge... "



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Zen

I totally forgot that I hadn't used this stockpiled Linkey: Best use of 1 million beer bottles.























"Quietly here I'll sleep.
I won't even make a peep.
You won't even know I'm here.
Just letting you know that we're out of beer.

Couch surfin'..."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Sauvagnon Blanc

Are you Caucasian? Do you like to complain? Then White Whine is for you. First World problems with snarky remarks. Updated daily. Poke around. There are some GEMS in there!

Would you like some cheese and crackers with that?


Oh... and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON



















"The lonely night discloses just a passing breeze filled with memories
Of the golden smile that introduced me to
The days of wine and roses and you."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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What's Up Brougham?

Just in time for Summer. Grab yourself a Pimm's Cup and enjoy the dulcet tones of "Chap-Hop" with Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer.






















"You don't have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
(hicup) I'm drunk."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Martinis!!!

Enough said.






















"I live my life on a layer of ice
Just like those poured by my bartender,'Vice'
Any taste of vermouth should be really sublime
When you have a good Martini time!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Spritzer

Ever have one of those Thursday nights that you can't remember... until it's too late? Do you really want to take that back? Well, now there's redemption. On Friday, just head on over to Sorry I Got Wasted and make everything all better!


Oh... and just a reminder Summer is coming.



















"Liquor, beer, and wine
Is the flashing sign I see.
Every single morning I get up
It's buzzin' down at me.

I look up to the heavens
For a ray of hope to shine.
And there it is in neon,
Liquor, beer, and wine!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Hoist One for Dad!!

TNSC uber-member (and dad) Lee Gardner (he has his own sectio ), passed on this very special link to me, which I'm posting for this upcoming Father's Day:

Dads are the Original Hipster.

Be sure to peruse through all of the pages. Some are real gems and will definitely evoke memories.

And speaking of "Hipster", what in the hell happened with PBR?!?




















"Like a cool Daiquiri,
With the twist of a lime,
I could get used to this,
All of the time.
I could get used to it!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

The Happiest Place on Earth

Great news, Todd Lindo!! Disneyland has announced the re-opening of The Enchanted Tiki Room

The only other thing that could possibly make visiting Disneyland™ any better would be an "E Ticket" admissio to the very private Club 33.
















"The bartender just
Lets my tab slide.
Who's takin' who here
For a ride?

For a while...
At the Starlight Lounge... "



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.