Double Oh Seven

The past 12 months has been pretty rough all around. And it's ending just as badly as it started. I'm more than ready to put this one behind me. And what better way than with "Zombie Golf Riot"? Sweet. Top 1537ft.

Wishing you all a Happy New Year, and a much better 2008.


















"Baby boom or "X",
I don't know what I am,
All I need to know is when it's time to slam.
Threw a little party cause it just felt right,
It lasted ten years and it's goin' on tonight."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Scabs

Being in LA the past 2 weeks for work, I'm starting to see the effects of Union Writers being on strike. But there's nothing funnier than a kid, an IFP, and 2 brilliant comedians on the other end?

Oh, and some holiday cocktail concoctions to scare off pesky relatives.

And a belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Mr. Mathias Genser. Sorry I missed last week, Mat. And birthday wishes for Mrs. Linkey-Loo Robot's upcoming 29th!!

Have a great Xmas holiday, y'all.




















"The bartender just
Lets my tab slide.
Who's takin' who here
for a ride?"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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It's Beginning to Smell a lot Like Christmas

All of this "work" stuff is harshing my Xmas buzz. But I did come across one gift idea that I think would be suitable for more than a few TNSCers.

For all of the frugal "Scrooges" that you know, I've found this fabulous local daily event calendar.



Mrs. Linkey-Loo insisted that we get a real Xmas tree this year. A man can dream, can't he?
























"Quietly here I'll sleep.
I won't even make a peep.
You won't even know I'm here.
Just letting you know that we're out of beer."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Editorial

As most of you know, I make my living editing television commercials. Often we're asked to create "Director's Cuts" because the director hates what the advertising agency did to his vision. Other times it's just that the Director is out of his/her mind. Here's a fancy-ass edit for that was done for a AT&T Hispanic cell phone spot.

Here is the Director's Cut.

As I need to learn Apple's Final Cut Pro editing software, a TNSC member suggested taking a this class the next time I'm in Los Angeles.



















"One Bourbon,
One Scotch,
One Beer."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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The 70's

That's one era in my life that I don't miss. Sure I missed out on cheap cocaine, wide lapels, easy sex and giant moustaches, but there is one thing that I do miss about it. The advertising. Not a shred of CGI here.




















"I lay around here
And just drink beer,
I'm the baddest of the bad since you've been gone."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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A Very Attractive Table Lamp


There is discomfort, and there is DISCOMFORT.

Gimme a break.

And, a well remembered gem from my youth.






















"Smoke in one hand looking for a drink,
Drink in the other hand
Pointing out midnight"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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We're Talkin' Fuckin' Lee!!


This post is going to read more like a segment of Lee Lee the Musical Bee, and less like Linkey-Loos.

So, I was in Minneapolis for work the past 2 or so weeks. While there on a Sunday night, I set out to locate a Twin-Cities classic Country & Western/Rockabilly bar known as Lee's Liquor Lounge. I trudged obliviously through what was apparently the most dangerous part of Minneapolis. Go figure. Lee's neon sign called to me like a siren in the night. I reached my destination, and stepped in out of the cold. The interior was an odd cross between the venerable Demarco's 23 Club in Brisbane, CA, and the Hemlock Tavern. It had a wonderful split-level, 2-sided bar, and a vast wood-paneled main room and dance floor. I sat down and "Bill the Bartender" poured me a stiff Beefeater & Tonic for a paltry $4.25. I glanced up to the dance floor and saw that it was filled with Line Dancers cutting the rug. Old mirrors with forgotten beer advertisers filled the walls. An Elvis booze decanter collection filled a display case above the dance floor. Signs for Pull-Tabs generated extra money.

I checked out the dance scene. Wait a minute.... those are all GUYS!!!! I glanced around confused. Oh great... it's Gay & Lesbian Dance Night. (TNSC member Ty Bardi stated dryly "Isn't all Line Dancing gay?") I decided "What the hell", and stuck around for another while enjoying a scene that doesn't even exist in SF anymore since the demise of the Rawhide II on 7th Street.

Anyway, enough about my MPLS adventures. Next time, I'll get some real Linkey-Loos.

















"And there it is in neon,
Liquor, Beer and Wine."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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"Down Under"


Sweet. But I can't find anything on YouTube™!!

Oh wait... Thank you Talk Soup!!! (NSFW)

















"Party!
Get naked!!
Buy us beer!!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Sigma Tappa Kegga


And not that I miss college, or anything. Especially the Frat Boys.

Brilliant, bro.


















"If this bar were school,
I'd have a degree."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Mmmmmmmm.....

beer......

And something a bit more cerebral.

(Thanks, Mat)



















"Baby boomer, X, I don't know who I am.
All I need to know is when it's time to slam.
I threw a little party cuz it just felt right.
It's lasted 10 years and it's going on tonight."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Heeeyyyeeeeee!!!

Thank you TNSC list member Brady Baltezore for forwarding this amazing link of "The Fonz" in action, long after he "Jumped the Shark".


**NOTE: May be NSFW for use of actual anatomical terms.




















"I was with friends,
We were doing slammers,
They tried to get me hammered,
I said 'No',
But they insisted."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Muzzy

Being that I'm deficient in the "facial hair department", I have nothing but respect for these men of power.

The only thing better might be a monobrow... but that's a much earlier linkey.
















"Quietly here I'll sleep.
I won't even make a peep.
You won't even know I'm here.
Just letting you know that we're out of beer"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Wedding Bells

In this month's episode of Tiki Bar TV, I find that I may never marry Lala.

(I also see that they've discovered color-correction, blurs, and glow plug-ins)

And in a belated sentiment, I wanted to pass on well wishes to 2 TNSC members who recently "tied the knot" - Kyra Ivanoff & Brady Baltezore. Wait... they didn't marry each other.

Kyra Ivanoff and Christopher Hall

Carrie Maxwell and Brady Baltezore.

Cheers, kids!!! And welcome to "the club".























"I'm sure you'll look just like an angel
As you're walking down the aisle
But lying here so close to me
You've got that devil smile."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Tie One On

This week's Linkey-Loo comes to you from "Deep in the heart of Texas". Dallas, to be exact. Home of the late, great Coach Landry (and JFK's demise). And though I'm not a huge football fan, but I am a fan of a coach in a tie. .

Which made me think about why hasn't anyone invented a new necktie knot?

























"Sweatin' it out, Deep Ellum at night
If i stay cool and stay outta' fights
I can dance with my baby right in time
Vodka and tonic with a twist of lime."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Pitagora Suitchi

Honorary TNSC founding member Mathias Genser has been scouring the globe for Linkey-Loo's, and brings us the fabulous ピタゴラスイッチ, which translates to "Pythagora Switch".

I could watch these for hours and hours...

And if that's not enough, he also gives us Harder, Better, Finger, Stronger.

Somebody CLEARLY has too much time on their hands. (groan)

























"Twenty Six" - TNSC 2007 Mascot


"I'm just happy to he bere
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
because the kitchen bright's too light."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Ball

They just don't make advertising like this anymore. To hell with lead paint... BRING ON THE WHIPLASH!!!!

(and turn up the volume)














"If this bar were school,
I'd have a degree."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Standing Ovation

I love Thespians. Oooh La La, indeed!!!

And what the hell... here's the world of Lemmy.
























"Smoke in one hand looking for a light,
Martini in the other hand,
Pointing out midnight"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Like Swallows to Capistrano.

One thing about TNSC members... they always come back. Sure they're internal homing systems are not triggered to some kind of annual trigger, but give them time and they'll be back. We have many special TNSC guest surprises this week. Come on out and see for yourself.

Until then, enjoy such fine links as this, or this.





















(and no, I'm not trespassing into "Pr0n Robot" territory...)



"I was with friends,
We were doing slammers
They tried to get me hammered,
I said 'No!',
But they insisted"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Submitted For Your Approval...

... TNSC Member Brady Baltezore gives you "Carts of Darkness". Awesome.

And Timothy Gross (no relation to Moss) gives us an update on an American classic: The Etch-A-Sketch. I like how the company name "Ohio Art" is such a great oxymoron.

And lastly, I'd like to give a shout-out to our own TNSC "cheerleader" Ms. Low-retta Wilson. She is unfortunately leaving our TNSC group for the year to attend to an ailing father. We wish her and her family well. And we wish that she forms a TNSC Nashville chapter.


























"Bottle to the left of me,
Doorway to the right.
Should I stay or make my way,
Into the lonesome night."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Cut & Paste

Being an editor by profession, I always appreciate a job well done. This is a follow up to a internet classic.

While on the subject of videos and art...

(Thanks, Mathias, for the links)























"I lay around here,
And I just drink beer.
The baddest of the bad,
Since you've been gone."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Bar None.

I want to start by congratulating TNSC founding member John Metsker on his recent graduation from Law School, and this past weekend's completion of the Bar Examination!!! We'll all be waiting impatiently for the results in November.

Now, speaking about the OTHER kind of "bar", long-time list member Lyndal Heathwood gives us this submissio . Mmmmmmmm... bacon.

And as I work in advertising, I'm always aware of its incredible irony.

And lastly, I'd like to extend a "Welcome Back" to TNSC founding member Susan "Dynamite" Smith. Her new job will bring her to San Francisco one week out of the month, so she'll be gracing us with her presence then. Come by and say "hi".


















"Drink at the Bar Nothing Bar, anything,
But the bottom step of the ladder,
It keeps getting higher and higher.
Dawn comes soon enough for the working class,
It keeps getting sooner or later."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Hot Water Music.

I absolutely LOVE the writing of Charles Bukowski. I'm not really sure what it is about it. Perhaps it's his non-tangential writing style. Perhaps it's because of his West Coast geographical leanings. My age and travels brought me to "his" Los Angeles to late to really have a chance to hang with him at his Hollywood haunts like The Frolic Room (now overrun with "hipsters"), though I was once served by his long-time bartender, Raul, at Musso & Franks™ (the oldest existing Bar & Grill in LA - circa 1919).

But thanks to long-time list member Jason Porter, I can now share with you the oddest of childhood collisions: Charles Bukowski, and our childhood comic-strip staple, The Peanuts. Awesome.

And in the news... a local story that I'm not sure I buy.






















"I'm on the porch,
Cuz I lost my housekey,
Pick up my book,
I read Bukowski"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Hollow Leg.

These guys post just as often as the TNSC crew (except on Mondays - how lame). Pr0n Robot says that many of these are really hard. I don't see as many movies, so I'll take her word for it. You can take the test too.

Mad Photoshop™ skilz - just like me.

























"I was with friends, we were doing slammers,
They tried to get me hammered,
I said "no", but they insisted."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Le Français

TNSC stalwart (that's a compliment) submits this AWESOME bit of intertron "Mash-Up" technology. The back story of Claude Lelouch's infamous ride are what legends are made of.


And a great email quote from the lovely Mrs. Linkey-Loo on her attempt to secure an online airline check-in yesterday:

"Did I mention that I hate this country? It is Lufthansa, not United. Don't bother calling. I'm going to the bar.

I hate this country."

"I love to hear the beat shuffle on the Honky-Tonk floor,
When the bar starts to close I holler 'Give me one more!!!'
Sittin' in the darkest corner I could find,
Holdin' baby's hand and sippin' wine."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Hey baby, it's the 5th of July

As I said in a previous email, Happy Birthday, Josh! Too bad you can't be here to celebrate. Also, a belated TNSC Happy Birthday to Lee, Lee the Musical Bee. His slipped through the cracks a few weeks ago. But at least HE remembered to celebrate it.

Many of my friends are suddenly in the housing market. I guess get in now, or don't get in at all is one way to look at it, with the crazy market, and all. Because of this occurrence, I've received THIS several times. Interesting.


And one more nod to my favorite daily online comic Cyanide & Happiness. Randomly pick through the archives if you have nothing better to do. You won't be sorry.


























"Threw a little party cause it just felt right,
It lasted ten years and it's goin' on tonight!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.