Parking... parking... parking...

That's the new focus in my neighborhood. That's what's lost when a family with 7 cars who refuse to use their 2 driveways and garage move next door. And to ramp up for tonight's venue, you can start to practice parking here. Submitted by Brady Baltezore, the guy w/o a car who can walk to the evening's venue.

And one of the coolest things EVER!!!!

And two fine submissions by my worthy co-robots. Can you guess which belongs to whom?


























"Surprise, surprise.
There's a band on stage.
Surprise, surprise.
I'm in a bar."




Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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See you in Church

Always a classic. The Church Sign Generator, as submitted by Brady Baltezore.

Please download a copy of your church sign and submit here.

And a few more audio treats for your speakers here, and here. Leekspin? Kill me.....



















"I threw a little party cuz it just felt right,
It's lasted 10 years, and it's going on tonight!"




Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Viewer Mail

Today the Linkey-Loo Robot links faithful TNSC viewer submissions. First up, Mathias Genser. I can watch this thing for hours and hours.

And in more Tutonic link relations, the lovely Mrs. Julie Chimenti gives us.... bears. Booooiiiiinnnngggg!

Please help out the cause and suggest a link!











"And there it is in neon,
Liquor, Beer, and Wine."



Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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¿Quién es más macho?

TNSC member currently "down under", sends us this gem of a link.


And the "Linkey-loo" well must be running dry, because I have to resort to THIS!! (speakers up)

Please help out the cause and suggest a link!




















"Gin & Tonics Tonight!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Crack Tubes!!!

Yet ANOTHER dumb quiz. I "Kant" believe my score. Okay...that's just a terrible joke...which, of course, reminds me immediately of The Philosopher's Drinking Song.


And a the much anticipated TikiBar TV Episode #19, "Space Cadet", part II.

















"I've only got 2 olives, and a couple of limes.
I guess that means that it's Martini time!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Hell

The world is going to hell in a handbasket. That's my POV, anyway.

I was having an in-depth disucssion with a good friend of mine last week about Hell, and specifically about Dante Alighieri's view of it in his epic poem, "Dante's Inferno". While thinking about that, and doing some online reasearch, I came across this "Inpurity, Sin, and Damnation Test". It kinda rules. I'm not sure if I scored low or high.

And since we're contientious and mindful here at TNSC, I give you a handy guide for gluing things to each other.

And in other items NOT Hell related, I just want to thank my wife, the lovely Mrs. Julie Chimenti, for the 16 years of matrimonial bliss that she has given me. May there be 16 more to follow.
















"A long black limousine
And there's a demon at the wheel
And ol' sly Satan's in the back
He says he wants to make a deal"



Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Tequila & Beer

Just a quick test of your TNSC beer prowess.. I admit with apprehension that I got a perfect score.

Oh...and my favorite movie EVER....CONDENSED. Sound up!!! (and NSFW)


















"Deep into that golden spell,
A feeling I know oh, so well,
I can hear Tequila call my name"



Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Food Pr0n

"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my OWN pants!!!" I saw that quote somewhere, and it made me laugh. It's incredible how prevalent all things food related have permiated all of our lives. There are even several cable television STATIONS dedicated to only food. Which ties directly into Linkey-Loo #1: Foodgasm or Orgasm?

And while I'm on the subject, here's Linkey-Loo #2: Naughty Food.

And then there is always beer. How about those Giants?!? FINALLY one a game!! Lost 3 to the Pirates, though.
















"I was with friends, we were doing slammers
They tried to get me hammered,
I said no, but they insisted..."


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Raging Bull

GREAT movie. On right now.

If I've learned anything from searching out Linkey-loos week after week, it's that some are tough, and some are definitely more sublime.

























"And there it is in neon,
Liquor, beer and wine."


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Mystery Box

This is an odd SF phenomenon. One day, our heralded leader, Josh Johnson, discovered a strange metal box with spray painted identification and a tube eminating from it into the ground, on the side walk outside St. Francis Hospital, on Nob Hill. He thought it odd, but nothing more. It was gone a few days later. Then it returned a few weeks after that. Soon, he began to see them popping up at various locals around the city. The "Mystery Box" phenomenon had begun. He began taking photos and documenting their locations and serial #'s. I did a random search on the intertron recently, and only came across this website. Note the middle section of the page:

Leaving the plaza and walking North on the sidewalk you see some other strange things. The sidewalk is over what appears to be a storm drain, with dam-like controls to allow overflow into the Bay. There is a machine or metal box on the walk with a plastic tube going to the drain-thing. It has a strip of black an yellow caution tape on it and the following text stenciled in black on it:

303
BERM-FMS
274-0285

The mystery continues...

Meanwhile, you too can be Jackson Pollac. Listen to Jazz. Go nuts.

And "Lee, Lee the Musical Bee" submits this little gem of a site!!!



















"Young girls and Gin may be the cure.
I'm talkin' just as long as you stay pure,
Young girls and Gin may be the cure "


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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BLOW WHEELS!!!!

Many, many years ago, early in my career when things were both innocent and more confused, I had the opportunity to pull all-night shifts working on an animated show for MTV called Liquid Television™. It was an animated compilation show that spawened the franchises of Beavis & Butthead™ and Aeon Flux™, among others.

But one cartoon never got it's due. Though the director, Wes Archer, went on to direct many episodes of The Simpsons™, Futurama™, and King of the Hill™, I don't fell that his initial groundbreaking animation piece, Jack Mac & Rad Boy received the reverence that it initially deserved.


Enjoy.


















"If this bar were school, I'd have a degree."


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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3 Day Week

Need I say more? How much does THAT rule?!?

In my constant quest to entertain the thirsty masses, I sometimes have to revisit updates of classics, and occasionally go back to the classics, themselves - Swear-O-Tron (Possibly NSFW - except if you're Greg Gladstone, then you sound like this all of the time.)


Again, Happy Birthdays to TNSC founder Josh Johnson, and TNSC "new guy" Kent Matheson.

Also, contrats to the newly married TNSC couple Traci "Cha Cha" Horie and Chris "Knight Rider" Hamilton!!!



"I only got two olives and a coupla limes,
I guess that means that it's Martini Time!!!"


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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5 Thursdays in June

Just sayin'.

Ever wonder what to do with all of those bottle of Ouzo that you received as birthday presents from TNSC member Sue Erokan?!? Well I now have the answer. It' can be found in Tiki Bar TV - Episode #18. Lots of educational stuff here, too!! You'll need Flash™ 8 for this.

While you're at it, check out Episode #17, as well. If you have trouble with Flash™, you can view QuickTime™ movies here.

Oooh Lala!!! Is that a dress, or a very long T-shirt?!?! My favorite quote:
"Can you teach me to be ripped, too?!?"

And another fine (though rather unseasonal) submission from "The Youngest Johnson".

TNSC SouthPark gallery to be up soon!!























"A threw a little party cuz it just felt right.
It's lasted 10 years, and it's goin' on tonight!!"


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




Suggest a link!

Big in Japan

While most of you kids were warmly tucked away in your jammies watching first run episodes of "Night Rider", I had my nose deep in the books (and beer), preparing for "real" life. I rarely watched television at then (as there was not really time), but I have heard enough about David Hasselhoff's MacGyver character to get the gist of this "hunk's" handy nature. The fact that someone actually took the time to compile all of the episodic creations is HILARIOUS!!!" (thanks to "down under" correspondent Chris Hamilton for the submissio .)

And this was a rather random post. It's from one of Christopher Walken's SNL appearance, and it's probably NSFW - you've been warned.

And lastly, a little nod to TNSC member Brady Baltezore's homage to the seminal LA punk band X. I beleve that the ink is still wet.















"I took pictures of your town, plaid perfume on my breath.
I mean I've been drinking Scotch, wandering through your town."


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Another One Bites the Dust

It doesn't get any better than this. The old "Saucy Aussie" on " award for LIVE television. This approach MAY work better than coffee.

And speaking of coffee, I'm sure you all saw this headline. Yay!!!!

Oh, and here's a little link from the past: the shaman (with a facelift, I see.) David Blaine, eat your heart out.

Don't forget to submit your TNSC South Park character here. (follow instructions from last week's Linkey-loo if you're having trouble.)

















"There's nothing to replace you,
'cept liquor, beer and wine."


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Burn in Hell

I may get the "Un-PC" award for this little game, but I look at it more as a political statement. A mere reflection of our times. It's pretty easy - aim, shoot, get your Un-PC rating. Possibly NSFW. Hey...I'm giving the penguins a break here!!

Oh, and here's a little link for you feline supremacists

Don't forget to submit your TNSC South Park character here. (follow instructions from last week's Linkey-loo if you're having trouble.)















"Gin & Tonics tonight!!!!"


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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May Sweeps

Well, now that the pinnacle of the television season has passed, I'm already missing my favorite first-run shows. Not that I have time to watch television. Anyhoo...TNSC Member/Porn Robot Tama Blough stepped in to save the day with a Linkey-Loo for me. This v2 Tutonic version totally kicks ass on it's predicessor. So much so, that it inspired me to assemble the TNSC South Park Crew.

Follow the instructions to build your best representative creation (it requires Flash™). Use your computer screen-grab capabilities to capture the image then attach it in an email back to the Linkey-Loo Robot.

















ME (duh) & definitely Tama on a rare sunny day at Ocean Beach.






"I live my life on a layer of ice,
just like those poured by my bartender Vice."


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Indentured Servitude

I apparently can't do anything for myself anymore. For instance, I'll give you one chance to guess who sent me this link. He wants credit...but he can kiss my shiny metal ass!!!

And in the "morbid" department, Here is a link for a venerable and noble institiution.


Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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More of the Same

I repeat, more of the same.

At the outset, the 2nd link is only one that Mathias can understand verbatim...then the language becomes universal. Stick around and see!! The 1st link? All that I can say is that I hope that it answers all of your questions.




















"I lost my job for no reason or rhyme,
I guess that means that it's Martini time!!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Hot Links!!!

Always in search of creative outlets for our TNSC crew, this one certianly "fits the bill". **GROAN** Porno Robot is probably the only one who can pull this off.

And if this doesn't bring a tear to your eye, I don't know what will.















"Surprise, surprise. There's a band on stage
Surprise, surprise, I'm in a bar!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




Suggest a link!

Only in Los Angeles

Since that's where I have to spend this Thursday.

One finds the darndest things on television. Like "The Spirit of Truth". I hope that this Flash™ file is still working. If not, it might also be here. Jesus, bitch!!! Oh....audio may not be suitable for work.

And here's another quiz for you. Sex Toy, or Baby Toy? Probably another NSFW link. Sorry.


Send answers here!












"If this bar were school, I'd have a degree!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisitio !!!

Just sayin'.














"When you're out with a babe, you don't nickle and dime,
And you have a good Martini time!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Hot Links

First one out the gate is Ask a Ninja. 19 to choose from. Go nuts.

And now that everybody and their brother has a DV camera and iMovie or Final Cut Pro, I'm thinking of hanging up my career and just becoming a Vegetarian.
















(As seen on TV™)





"If this bar were school, I'd have a degree."

Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Ancient History

Probably none of you are as ancient as I am, and thusly don't recall the early days of beer drinking. Because of that I bring you a quick lesson called Pull-Tabs 101.

Oh, and I was in an elevator last week and heard some Muzak™ version of a Doobie Bros./Michael McDonald tune. That immediately reminded me that I was sitting on this gem of a Linkey-Loo: Yacht Rock. Please, please, please start at the bottom of the page, start with Episode 1, and work your way up through the series. It takes some time and dedication, but if you remember "Pull Tabs", you'll remember all of these references and will be richly rewarded.























"One Bourbon, one Scotch, one beer."

Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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Nothing to see here!!!

TNSC's Lexington, Ky linkey-loo stringer Matt "Horseboy" Hegarty sends us this link for hours and hours of enjoyment.

And I don't normally do plugs here, but if you're anywhere near LA, by all means see this band!!















Drinking with you from a distance!!!


"Party!!! Get Naked!!! Buy us beer!!!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -
AJC




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