I'd Like to Buy a Vowel

Years ago when many of us worked at Western Images, there was the daily occurrence of trying to figure out where to get a group of compositors, animators, schedulers and producers to come to agreement on a lunch destination. If memory serves me correctly, one of the CG guys wrote a "Random Lunch Generator" script that ran on the CG computer network, and eliminated the guesswork for us. Now anyone and his brother can create said generator. Just add zip code. I added "beer" instead of "lunch", and found that it works WAY better.


Here are some TNSC-endorsed products for better living.























"Smoke in one hand
Looking for a light
Martini in the other hand
Pointing out midnight"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Duty Now for the Future

I was doing a little music video research recently and came across this "soundie" for "The Texas Strip". Word on the street is that it was the inspiration for the music video that got me into the industry - Devo's "Whip It".

DEVO founder, and some time TNSC attendee Gerald V. Casale claims that they had never seen it before now.

Thank you Oddball Films for making that connectio .

That reminds me, co-worker Blade Ladish (and DEVO neighbor) recently got a new tattoo that was featured on the band's website:






























"So drink some big beers and go crazy tonight
They're all dressed up and they'll be gettin' it tonight
Big swingers in double knits tonight
Big babies gonna get in a fight."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Boom!!

For all of you "kids" out there - before the iPod™, before the Walkman™, portable high-fidelity music roamed the earth in the form of the "Boombox". This retrospective is comprehensive as all get out!!

As a TNSC "Public Service Announcement", here's a quick refresher on how to tie a bowtie. NSFW? Not really. Better than the alternatives.

























"Quietly here I'll sleep.
I won't even make a peep.
You won't even know I'm here.
Just letting you know that we're out of beer.

Couch surfin!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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190th

I'm not sure what's funnier the emails themselves or the commentary.

In the "best of both worlds" category, I can now apparently drink beer from both a can AND a bottle! I love America.

But wait!! There's more!! We'll throw in this Beer Can House!!!
























"Baby boom or "X",
I don`t know what I am,
All I need to know is when it`s time to slam.
Threw a little party cause it just felt right,
It lasted ten years and it`s goin` on tonight."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Eye Oh Ewe

Like the California Government, I'm issuing IOU's myself. Cocktail IOU's. Redeem them tonight in person.

Until then, I just want to thank Lee Lee the Musical Bee for helping a fella out by submitting not one, but two Linkeys for this week.

With him being musical, and all, the first is all about Sax and Violins. John Coltrane, eat your heart out.

And for the "Handyman Appreciation Society", please enjoy There, I Fixed It! Holy fuck, that's funny.

Thanks, Lee!!!






























"My right hand holds a cold Corona™ bottle
My left hand holds a half a fifth of Gin
My right arm reaches out for her love only
But my left still embraces a life of sin."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Sloe Weak in the Gnus.

From my hometown of South San Francisco, I ran across this newsworthy item. I'm guessing that Genentech has had some layoffs.

And for you numerologists out there, a little less on the Number "33".


That's right. Family owned and operated tavern in South City since 1941.





























"Like a cool Daquari
With a twist of lime.
I could get used to this
All of the time."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Tale of Two Cities

Without attempting to step on the posting toes of anyone else affiliate with the TNSC website, I want to share two similar yet unrelated submissio s that I received this week for the TNSC site. Without naming names I give you a newscast preparation that probably rivals that of Fox's "Good Day LA", except that it's Dutch. That rules!!

This next dichotomy is best lumped in the A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words category.

Click on any picture... repeatedly.



























"Hangin' with friends
We were doin' slammers
They tried to get me hammered
Well I said no, but they insisted"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Manna from Heaven

So, besides cocktails & my wife, if anybody knows me well they know that there are 2 things in love almost more than anything. Coffee and bacon. Thanks to the folks that run the quasi-legal Pirate Cat Radio (which beams it's 4 watt signal to some portions of SF) their café has help me realize a culmination of my dreams with the Maple Bacon Latte.

Thank you. There is a God.

And speaking of God, we couldn't find a bigger gathering of miscreants found in one place, as witnessed by this fine rendition of "Mr. Booze" from a 1964 classic. Thank you Father Crosby.



























"I`m just happy to he beer
Home for the nest of the right...
I`ll explain in the morning,
'Cause the kitchen brights too light.

You don`t have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
(hicup) I`m drunk."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Harmon Killebrew

This has nothing to do with a famous baseball player - it's just phonetically a great TNSC "nom de booze".


First up, a very important scientific study from the good folks at the BBC. Think about that when you're out tonight.

And in the WTF?!? department. What is this world coming to?






































"You can't drive around and hear your favorite song
So you tape it live if you can get inside when it comes along
I can't understand people who bitch & whine
Lets drink a beer from a paper bag while we got time"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Loquat

That's what it would say if this link was sideways and upside-down. I think. At any rate, it's one of the coolest looking Linkeys that I've seen in quite some time.


As you all know, the TNSC founders never condone drinking and driving, except in EXTREME situatio s. Yeah, baby!!!


























"Listen, I can hear Tequila callin'
And it won't be long before I'm fallin'
Deep into it's golden spell
A feeling I know so well
I can hear Tequila call my name"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Leatherman

The title of this week's post has nothing to do with gay bars South-of-Market, but rather another San Francisco phenomenon.... the "Bacone"!!!

Long-time TNSC member (and resident "jerk") Jason Porter submits this FABULOUS site. Cheers!!!































"Drink at the 'Bar Nothing' bar,
Anything.
But the bottom step of the ladder
It keeps getting higher and higher.
Dawn comes soon enough for the working class.
It keeps getting sooner or later."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Round on the ends....

I've been meaning to post this "Only in Ohio" news story. I need to acquire one of these contraptio s!!

A quick peruse of the latest Esquire™ Magazine's Best Bars in America" indicate that San Francisco rated pretty highly with 7 nods (8 if you want to count "Sam's" in Tiburon - TNSC list member Amy Gatzert will argue in favor of that one). A few, believe it or not, are on our TNSC circuit. (Not that I read Esquire™)

TNSC list member Jesse Clark submits this fine example of Blogging, food and photography. Now I'm hungry.





Remember to Vote next Tuesday!!


























"Actors dashing their hopes against the rocks.
Writers going overboard on cocktails.
Singers cryin'.
You can't make a living,
Dyin'."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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May is National Tavern Month

I actually have an old 1950's necktie that has that silk-screened on it. And speaking of taverns here's a reminder that you guys need to GET OUT MORE OFTEN !!!

In honor of this Thursday's "Literary Event", here's a special old-skool nod to my first memory of Matt's cutie, Maggie Estep, back in the day when people used to actually MAKE music videos.



Papermill Creek Saloon Poster Child































"I'm just happy to he beer
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
Because the kitchen bright's too light!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

12 Galaxies

Sure the Mission Street club of the same name is now history, but with your help, Frank Chu's legacy can live on.

Submit your attached creations here.

And from the "digital hilarity" department, I give you Texts from Last Night. These are priceless. Blackout tonight and create your own!!

































"It's hard to beleive I've gone and done it again.
Went to a place to see all of my friends.
One little sip and now look at me.
If this bar were school I'd have a degree."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Like Shooting Fish in a Barrel

I've avoided the easy cop-out of posting ANYTHING from "College Humor". Until now. Yes, it has "jumped the shark", but at least it did it with a wink and a nod.

To cap it all off, my new favorite website. Hi-LARIOUS!!!





























"Yeah, the Starlight Lounge is a happy little place.
A really fun place where you can lose your face.
And all of my friends including me are insane.
It's a little hide-a-way to hide away from the pain."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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She Had to Leave....

LOS ANGELES!!!

Yep. Exene wailed that 30 years ago. And I have to leave also, too. But not until Friday.

All of this travel allows me access to the airline magazines that I would NEVER in a million years read. But when one is a captive audience w/ "personal electronics" that are verboten for a fair portion of the flight, I've turned to these monthly publications for solace and companionship on my various journeys. Skymall™, be damned!!!

One theme, that I do admire thought, seems to weave itself once through at least every edition of the United "Hemisphere's" magazine, is one that centers around the joys of alcohol. C'mon. Travel and booze certainly go hand-in-hand. In a recent article, I was regaled with our modern Golden Era of Cocktails, right down to the Bacon-infused Bourbon. Mmmmmmmm.

And a tip for you (relating to last week's "linkeys".... don't order an Old Fashio ed at the upcoming Derby. Just sayin'.

























"They come together
To flirt and to tease
In the dimly lit shade
Under the cocktail trees"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Post Time!!!

Even though I've never lived inside of San Francisco proper, I still, in many ways, consider myself a kind of "Ambassador of Good Cheer" for "our" fine city. Over my lifetime of living (near) and working in the city, I've acquired countless tidbits of trivia about neighborhoods, buildings, landmarks, etc., and freely share them with out-of-town visitors and natives alike.

Even though I attended SF State University (on a 5-year plan), which skirts the "Ingleside Terraces" district, I never knew that it was built on the site of the Ingleside Racetrack (1895 - 1915). Go back to link #1 and check out Urbano Drive, and it all makes sense. I don't even think that Matt "Horseboy" Hegarty, our TNSC Lexington, Kentucky chapter head, knows about this historic equine landmark. And on top of that, I only recently discovered a sundial nested within the neighborhood's confines.

If San Francisco history bores you, there's always Sitting at the Bar to occupy your time. Go nuts.

Yeah... I know that I'm a month early.






























"My drinking days are over,
So let me hear 'Amen'. (AMEN!!)
My drinking days are over,
and over, again."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Tini Tiny

Recently brought to my attention was the evidence of possibly the most horrendous bastardization of a cocktail with "tini" added to it: The McNuggetini™. But if you really need a step-by-step, so be it.

To further enhance your cocktails, chill them with some of these.



























"I live my life on a layer of ice,
Just like those poured by my bartender, "Vice".
Any taste of Vermouth should be really sublime,
When you have a good Martini Time!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Check Your Head

It doesn't take a genius to know that times are tough out there. So, to give you a little respite, here's an "old classsic" to... um.... "kill" some time.

And be sure not to miss the highlight's of this week's "Bacon Camp". Yep... all part of what we do here at TNSC.

What WOULD Bacon do?!?



























"Day old days,
Ancient Bloody Mary bastards,
in a hardcore
Blue-collar bar.
Here we sit -
a shot and a beer
After another hard earned day.

Dawn comes soon enough for the working class.
It keeps getting sooner or later."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Get Your Hot Links!!!!

That line wasn't supposed to reflect last week's beer-fueled excursion to several baseball parks in the Phoenix AZ area w/ some other TNSC members. It just popped into my head.

Another thing that popped into my head was that I missed TikiBar TV's Episode #41, and Episode #42.

Oh... and quit staring at my PRANKS!!!.


Ooooh Lala!!























"Yeeeehaaaa!!!!!

Party!
Get naked!
Buy us beer!

Throw furniture!
Gin 'n Tonics!
Get naked!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Well....

I have good news, and some great news.


























"Tee Martoonis at bunch with the loss,
I didn't even ask or care what they cost.
I lost my job for no reason or rhyme,
Guessin' that means it's Martini Time!!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Hot Links

TNSC member Tim Gross (no relation to TNSC honorary founding member Moss Gross) sends us not one, but TWO links Thanks, Timmah!!!

Also, a bit of sad news from high atop Nob Hill

I suggest you now start praying to the Tiki Gods!! (and visit your local legendary Tiki establishment while you can)


























"Loco gringos like a party with five bails of, hay!!
Jumpin' in the dumpster with Pepe. Ole!
Loco gringos like a party and they like their women firm,
And when they drink tequila they fight for the worm."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Raise a Glass

One of my daily guilty pleasures is coming home from work at night, shaking up an ice-cold martini, and reading the late afternoon editio of the local county rag, The San Mateo Times. Amy, Jeanne, Stillman, JPo... you know what I'm talking about.

The one thing that I look forward to most is a weekly installment called "What's On Tap", written by long-time Bay Area resident, Bill Brand. The article discusses all things beer: local events and reviews for both local and international seasonal offerings. As reported in the Linkey-Loo two weeks ago, Mr. Brand was involved in a freak accident involving an afternoon of imbibing at SF Beer Fest activities, and a MUNI train (he N-Judah to be exact). I was saddened to find out that this past weekend, Mr. Brand succumbed to injuries as a result of this SOMA transit tango.

So, this week, in lieu of some clever connections to silly things, I would like you to remember a fine local journalist, and witness how many lives he has touched.

Please raise a hearty TNSC toast to this fine gentleman.
























"I'm the baddest of the bad
Since you've been gone,
The baddest of the bad,
Since you've been gone.
I lay around here
And I just drink beer
The baddest of the bad,
Since you've been gone."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Bowling & Beer

I have to say, even with as insane as this nation is at this time, to me, there's something quite comforting about a President who bonds over beer.

And nothing goes better with beer, than Bowling. I used to enjoy bowling, about 12 years ago this month, our heralded Robot leader organized a "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea" bowling party in honor of Jules Verne's Birthday. (I believe that some of you were there)

A good time was had by all, until Mrs. Linkey-Loo slipped while stepping up to the lane, and blew the tip of her pinky out with a 12 lb. bowling ball. We took her to not one, but TWO emergency rooms to get tended to (in her bowling shoes, no less). Needless to say, we haven't bowled since, and she can now predict rain with her pinkey (or what's left of it). This was at the Presidio Bowl - just after the base became decomissio ed. I recently read that the alley may become a victim of art. Put that in your GAP™ jeans.

Special thanks to Lael Kopke for her role as pinch-hit emergency nurse and "li'l" Timmy Fender for cleaning up all of the blood.

























"I look up to the heavens,
For a ray of hope to shine.
And there it is in neon,
Liquor beer and wine."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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SF Beer Week (this week)

Go out and support your local Bay Area beer festivities.

In a related story, my favorite local beer blogger, Bill Brand, suffered injuries after a nasty tangle with the N-Judah on Sunday as reported in the Contra Costa Times (and affiliated papers).

And as a side note, scientific proof that alcohol makes men better in bed.

For an unprecedented FOURTH & FIFTH Linkey, my mind wanders back to a long-forgotten Adam Carolla skit called Germany or Florida?. I think that the Reese's™ might be a give away.
























"Well I went to Milwaukee,
And they were out of beer.
I walked to New York,
But no one was there."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.