Leftovers

Last week, on the holiest of Thursdays, I failed to remember that the Easter weekend was upon us, and that I had some Easter linkeys in the "hopper", so to speak. So... you get them this week.

Submitted by the always effervescent Heather Lake: Sketchy Bunnies.

A second link that I ran across will hopefully amuse both Sue(bee) Erokan, and The most Reverend Bishop Mclendo: Peeps!!





























"I'm just happy to he beer
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
Because the kitchen bright's too light."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

No Fool Like a Young Fool

In high school, I just squeaked by w/ a passing grade in my "University Chemistry" class. Why, you may ask? Because I didn't really find much "everyday use" or correlation to the concepts. But had I had "real world" examples like this, I'm sure I would have aced the course. But that's probably Physics, isn't it?

Contrary to this week's title, there's really nothing foolish about that link. BUT.... there certainly is with this one!!





























"Now the dim lights and the drinking seem like fun I know
But she'll find out one morning you reap just what you sow
The sad part is she'll be alone once she starts to fall
There's no fool like a young fool who thinks she knows it all.

It breaks my heart to see her sitting there
With tavern lights shining in her hair
Life won't be as sweet to her tomorrow as today
There's no fool like a young fool who throws her life away..."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Jailbreak

Now that TNSC MIA member Jason Porter lets us all know that we can get a new one of these, why not take it for a test run with a couple of these?

Wait... isn't that just an un-incarcerated man's Pruno?

































"It's hard to beleive I've gone and done it again
Went to a place to see all of my friends
One little sip and now look at me
If this bar were school I'd have a degree"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Lucky Charms

I have to say... this installation of one of my favorite internet comics could have been lifted directly from the life of our heralded founder and Chief Robot Josh Johnson. (I apologize in advance for the lame "residual"pop-up)

Without offending any of you fine descendants from the Emerald Isle, thank goodness "amateur night" is over.























"I'm calling in sick
I'm calling in twisted
I was drinking two-fisted
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

Hanging with friends
We were doing slammers
They try and get me hammered
Boss, I said "No"
But they insisted"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Blow Wheels!!!

Axle-busting, head gasket-blowing, TNSC list-member Chris Hamilton submits a link from this past week's "24 Hours of LeMons" at the Infineon Raceway. File this under "How Not to Race". The cool part, is that this is the view from Chris' car (before he blew a head gasket and broke both axles).

The only thing that comes close to that is the ever-popular Death Metal Rooster. (Thanks, Lee!!)


























"I got a red car with blue tail lights,
Shiny red seats with piping in white.
Leopard skin dash with a louvered hood,
She goes ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba when she's runnin' good,

Lets go!!!
Ride into the mountains above.
It's low.
My big red rocket of love."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Crestfallen

I was so jazzed having had my Linkey-Loos for the week completed early, only to find my pièce de résistance shown on The Colbert Report last night. Those guys totally usurped me!!

And in all honesty, due to many varying factors these past couple of weeks, I didn't see one second of the Winter Olympic coverage. Not even this performance from our old friends DEVO. But, that said, I saw this recent movement to add a new event that is so ridiculous that it might even get me to watch.

What's next? Fucking? It would bring a new meaning to the term "biathlon"































"The bartender just lets my tab slide
Who's takin' who here for a ride?
For a while...
At the Starlight Lounge."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Booze of the World

Occasionally, items in the news really seem to hit home, like this, and this.





























"Tell me about the Orbit Room now!
It seems the place,
The place of your doom now.
When I walk in,
Through that front door,
Will I see you there for evermore?
For never more..."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Fear & Loathing

In the "HEY-YOU-DAMN-KIDS-GET-OFFA-MY-LAWN!!" department, we find a fine piece of audio from the late Hunter S. Thompson ripping an Audio/Video Installation Tech Support a new one. (Thanks, Jason)

If you ever had any doubt about what beer to drink, this handy little flowchart might help. Click on it to enlarge. (that's what she said)























"I'm the baddest of the bad since you've been gone,
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone.
I lay around here and I just drink beer
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Pram Pushin'

TNSC stalwart Jason Porter will be happy to know that a cache of Ernest Shackelton's 100 year old Whisky (note, no "e") has been discovered in Antarctica.

For years British comedy, mainly Monty Python's Flying Circus, commanded my television attention and, to a degree, shaped my being. I loved that show. On the polar opposite was Star Trek. I can honestly say that I've never sat through one entire episode. I'm sure that it was good, but not in my book. BUT... I have a new found appreciation for Gene Roddenberry's work, thanks to a little YouTube™ Mash-Up.

(and just in case you need, god forbid, a point of reference).

























"Don't need tequila candy with the worm inside
It's hard for him to swallow, as well as our pride.
His dirty feet might dangle like it's some fun ride
But it's not a grocery basket when there's booze inside.

Please don't take the baby to the liquor store
It's not the kind of bottle he's been cryin' for
Take the milk money and walk right out the door
But please don't take the baby to the liquor store ."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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B&B

I love Bacon and I love "Bloodies". Thanks to former TNSC member Alie Ward, I can now get them both in one place.

And while enjoying such a concoction (but never after 2pm), I also like messing with TWOYOUTUBEVIDEOSANDAMOTHERFUCKINGCROSSFADER. THAT is precisely why the internet exists!!!



























"I been drinkin' and smokin' cigarettes.
I been lookin' for a woman I have not met.
I have not found her yet.
Til' I do it's a sure fire bet.
I'll be drinkin' and smokin cigarettes!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Hip2BSqr

Longtime TNSC stalwart Jason Porter sent me this great Linkey: Unhappy Hipsters. Who knew Dwell™ Magazine has such fodder ripe for commentary?

In keeping with that theme, I thought that since we're approaching the time for the Winter Olympiad, why not add The Hipster Olympics to the mix? Except it's in Brooklyn. And it's Summer.

































"My right hand holds a cold corona bottle
My left hand holds a half a fifth of Gin
My right arm reaches out for her love only
But my left still embraces a life of sin"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Quack

I found another new "updated-daily" site to check, (and you should to): STOP MAKING THAT DUCK FACE!!!

Add to that, the ever popular People of Walmart™, and you've got yourself some entertainment.


























"And the box-office is drooling,
and the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling,
and the ash-trays have retired
'Cause the piano has been drinking,
the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking, not me"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Up in Arms

That's right. TNSC Field Correspondent Jason Porter brings to our attention a subversive plot against the freedoms granted by the 21st Amendment. Namely, the war that's raging against Angostura™ Bitters. Let the hoarding begin.

And though I don't deal with print production at all, the daily-updated Clients from Hell really strikes a chord. I can relate.


























"I'm gonna take you New York
I'll make it happen
I'm on the caboose
I'm drinking Manhattans
I'll take a splash on the big town
That's how I will arrive
Have you got two tens for a five?"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Goodbye Double Aughts

Welcome to another New Year. This being our...um... 14th year?!? SHITE!! Where has the time gone? I guess I could have probably done something more creative with our weekly ventures like these two guys did, or this newbie is doing. I wish them luck in their endeavor. (make mental note... invite these guys out).

And for every new bar that opens, there's always that special one that closes. This season it was Annie's Social Club operated the legendary Annie Whiteside. She sure took care of us for all a good number of TNSC years.
























Thanks, Annie!!

(Well... at least we get our co-opted name back).






"Day old days.
Ancient Bloody Mary bastards
In a hardcore blue collar bar.
Here we sit,
A shot and a beer
After another hard earned day.

Dawn comes soon enough for the working class.
It keeps getting sooner or later.
This is the game that moves as you play."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Holidaze

I'm certainly one to embrace our furry feline friends, (and not necessarily embrace blatant advertising on TNSC site) but who thought that this was a good idea? I will give them points for the key change, though.

Of course, there's always the seasonal favorite: Sober Santa. (use arrows to navigate)

Wishing you and yours a happy 2009 Holiday Season!!
























A fond Xmas memory from a MAD™ Magazine sometime in my youth:


"We three clods from Omaha are
Spending Christmas Eve in a car
Driving, drinking,
Glasses clinking,
Who needs a lousy bar?

Ohh...
Drink to Charlie. Drink to Paul
Drink to friends we can't recall
Swerving, speeding
Signs unheeding
Drink to anything at all.

We three clods are feeling no pain
Drunk as skunks with booze on the brain
Senses losing
'Til we're cruising
Into a wrong way lane.

Ohh...
Drink to Melvin. Drink to Fred
Drink to those two trucks ahead
Headlights flashing
Screeching, crashing
Drink till they pronounce us dead."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Beee-zeeee!!

Yep. All this week. While I recover, please enjoy

"Booze of the World" and "Boozecats". (Be sure to hover over pictures for delightful commentary)










(I can't believe I'm posting this... again...)













"What I did on my vacation
For the last ten years.
Took pictures of your town
Plaid perfume on my breath.
I mean I've been drinking Scotch
While touring through your town."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Great Minds Think Alike

Those minds being TNSC members & Robots

Tama (pr0n robot) (love how it veers toward pizza in the middle) and Josh (metal overlord). Both are informative and insightful.










(I can't believe I'm posting this)













"The piano has been drinking
My necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to New York
The jukebox has to take a leak."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Pete & Repeat

When is the last time that you heard a robot complain? I've been sofaking slammed this past week that I just didn't have any time to root out some fabulous new links for y'all. So, in lieu of presenting none at all, here are some updates to some of my new favorites:

eMails from an Asshole and People of Walmart™.

Both are an amazing view of our fair country.

















um.... get me a fuckin' drink?





"The bartender just lets my tab slide.
Who's takin' who here for a ride?
For a while...
At the Starlight Lounge..."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Steel Cut

As a rule, I don't like warm breakfast items. But sometimes I just loves me some oatmeal. With bacon, of course.


























"Like a cool Daiquiri,
With the twist of a lime,
I could get used to this,
All of the time.

I could get used to it!.



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Crack Tubes!!

Just about everything can be found on the YouTubes™.

From emergency cork extractio to crooning computers.





















The bartenders eyes are full of pity
As he tells her "You're alone and its 2:30.
All the chairs are on the table and it's time to close!"
She said "A minute ago they were starin' at me
Where the hell did they go?"
And she went out to paint the town.



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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2 Loves Have I

Everyone that is remotely familiar with me knows that I love two things:

Bacon. and Coffee. (oh... and beer and Martini's, too!!)


















"Young girls and gin may be the cure,
Young girls and gin may be the cure,
I`m talking just as good as you stay pure,
Young girls and gin may be the cure."





Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

BOB SAGET!!

If you haven't seen it, this is one of the coolest uses of the internet that I've seen in a long time. It's pretty self-explanatory.

You know that I'm getting low on Linkies when I have to resort to some that I've loaded in the chamber, but never pulled the trigger on: "Computer Tourettes".
If you have PC's at work, it's a pretty great prank - until you have to run from the IT guy.

Hell... while we're at it, I'll even throw in REAL tourettes guy.























"Hangin' with my friends
We were doing slammers
They tried to get me hammered
I said "No!"
But they insisted"





Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.

Screenwriter's Blues

Your Cadillac breathes four hundred horses over blue lines...
you are going to Reseda to make love to a model from Ohio whose real name you don't know....

From all across the continental US... The People of Wal-Mart Thanks Jeremy!! Dig deep in this one, folks!!

And for those times you're not able to get out of the house to shop, there's always the QVC™ optio .. (thanks JPo)


























"Exits to freeways
Twisted like knots on
The fingers.
Jewels cleaving
Skin between....
Breasts."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Bottom of the Barrel

The masses are always spoiled by "best of" lists that permeate websites, books and other mass media. San Francisco usually ranks high on most of these. But I just ran across the 20 Worst Bars in America and see that the "Bow Wow Cocktail Lounge" in North Beach made the list. We have to try that place some Thursday night. (I also noticed that 2 were in Chicago)

And for you "economical" or do-it-yourself folks (or for those who just don't want to wait for Thursday, here are the recipes for 13 adult beverages that you can make at home. Todd, take note!!





















"Drink at the bar nothing bar anything
But the bottom step of the ladder
It keeps getting higher and higher
Dawn comes soon enough for the working class
It keeps getting sooner or later
This is the game that moves as you play"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Crying in My Beer

Were the late 80's/early 90's really a happy time? The music kind of reflected some joy. Politics, not so much. I met my soon-to-be-wife and got married then, so it was happy for me. But, I have to ask, did people really need to drop $2 on some sadness? And does that # still work?

That, of course, reminded me of the very odd Crying While Eating. There are some pretty good ones in there.























"I'm the baddest of the bad since you've been gone
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone
I lay around here and I just drink beer
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.