Epic Fail


I have to apologize for my sporadic Linkeys this past month. Between work, 3rd-world internet access, and travel (for work), my time dedicated to rooting links to post was severely hamstrung. I'll try to do better in the future.

Until then, let's all look at one view of a little neighborhood known as
It is said that every journey begins with a step. Mine actually began with an "The Mission".

Thanks, Jason.















Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Cape Town Chronicles - Part 3


Well, this week has been a whirlwind. With a deadline hanging over my head, and clients over my shoulder, I've been relegated to the edit suite pretty much daily from 9am - midnight (and beyond). That basically makes for not having time to seek out Cape Town material for the Linkey. I did engage in a lot of conversations through the course of my edit sessions, so here's just a few highlights:

Traffic lights are known as "Robots". It's odd, I know. The most common type of arugula that seems to come w/ just about every meal is known as "Rocket". I'm starting to sense a space-age theme here.

A few terms that are both entertaining and perplexing:

"Howzit?" Meaning, "How is it going? My response of "It is" was generally greeted by blank stares.

"I'll see you just then." Meaning, "I'll see you soon".

"Awesome!" Meaning, "Awesome".

"Cheers!" Meaning, "Good bye" or "Thanks".

My personal TNSC will be spent flying over the continent of Africa to London. From then on, it's technically Friday, which will have me traveling home via LAX. To that I say "WTF?!"

See you all next week.

Cheers!!







Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Cape Town Chronicles - Part 2


Once jet lag wore off, I was able to settle into a relatively routine existence here (with the fulcrum of my day being work). It's amazing now much easier travel is these days thanks to what I'll call "smart electronics". It's those universal power adapters that are either built in to, or come with, all of the "new" necessities of life (computers, cell phones, etc.). They easily handle the range of world voltage from 110v - 230v and require just a simple and cheap plug configuration adapter to make them work. No more bulky power converters with fluctuating capabilities. Just devices that behave abroad how they behave at home. Why did this take so long?

Since it's late Summer here in South Africa, and one is always trying to beat the heat, on a recent car trip for a location scout one of my "handlers" kindly picked up refreshing beverages and snacks for all of us at a gas station convenience mart. One of the disparate items that was thrust into my hand was a sickly-sweet Strawberry and Vanilla "Drumstick™" like ice cream cone that had a dense chocolate coating and sticky Strawberry syrup on it. Trying to be gracious I consumed it, but realize why I hadn't had a snack of this ilk for nearly 20 years. Besides the diabetic-like spike in blood sugar level in my body, my hands were pretty much rendered useless thanks to the melting syrup. The only thing that I could grab to make the sugary taste go away was a bag of Nacho Cheese & Hot Wings flavored Dorito's™ chips. I tell you, the culinary combinations here in SA pretty much avoid any kind of subtlety and refinement.

The region certainly doesn't seem to be lacking coffee. It's not great, but it could certainly be worse. It's generally "filter coffee" (often French Press) or "Americanos" (espresso shots w/ hot water to make it the consistency of US coffee). People here generally take coffee with both sugar and cream, and usually in small quantities (and almost always in cups - and I don't mean paper). I unfortunately have a caffeine habit to maintain, so I have to make a nuisance of myself to get the proper dosage. But I found this little gem just outside the back alley of my hotel. It's called Deluxe Coffeeworks, and it's a tiny roastery/ coffee counter run by 2 friendly 30-ish New Zealanders. They have quite the business going on. I threw them for a loop the first time I went in as I ordered "off the menu" with a triple Macchiato to "take away", but they have the routine down now. Here's another little blurb on them.

Though English is the primary language spoken here, a good portion of the population quickly slip in and out of Afrikaans, a unique hybrid of Dutch, Malay, Portuguese, French and Bantu. "Ja" (pronounced "yah") means "Yes", as opposed to the accented English version (pronounced "Yayez". One other grammatical observation that amused me was the often heard use of the term "you must". I'm thinking "No, I really don't HAVE to do that. WTF?!? Though it is stated directly and with conviction, it actually means "you might want to" or "you're probably going to have to", rather than being a definitive edict.

Among the plethora of trees throughout the Cape Town region, there is a common one called the "Dingle". And yes, it does have berries.

5am call times on location, 15 hour days in the edit suite and shoddy internet connections are cramping my Linkey stylings, but I'm doing what I can.

Cheers!




Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Cape Town Chronicles - Part 1

It is said that every journey begins with a step. Mine actually began with an Anchor™Porter BEFORE stepping on to a SFO -> NYC red-eye that started the trip. 22 hours of flight time, and an additional 7 hours of combined layovers later (spanning 3 calendar days), I stepped foot onto Cape Town, South Africa. You may remember that it hosted the 2010 FIFA World Cup. The locals here are also the people that presented the world with the Vuvuzela. For those of you that do not know, Cape Town is a historical and vibrant port city on the Southern tip of the African continent and is flanked by the Atlantic Ocean on one side, and the Indian Ocean on the other.

From the airplane's window on our descent, I was reminded of a city that was an odd mishmash of Honolulu and the Monument Valley. It's port has a natural breakwater that the Dutch took full advantage of when securing a route from Europe to the East Indies for their spice trade. Above Cape Town the incredibly steep Table Mountain looms. It's an amazing testament to the power of the volcanic upheaval that formed this amazing spectacle..

Upon checking into the awesome Mandela Rhodes Hotel in the heart of the downtown, I quickly discovered 2 things that were lacking: water pressure, and ease of internet access. The lack of water pressure may be due to the fancy-ass shower head that gently "rains" on the user, and the internet issue can only be blamed on a company that prides itself on wireless "Anywhere On" internet access, but doesn't really have it's shit together. Daily connectivity is fraught with challenges. Also, though I don't have a rental car, I noticed that gas is somewhere around $9/ gallon. Who knew?

Though I'm steeped in work, a quick stroll of the area surrounding the hotel one morning reveled all kinds of 17th century Dutch style buildings, which lead to some beautiful 18th century British Parliamentary buildings, lush gardens, and well planned museums. At least I think that it was British. I saw a statue of that lady that's on the Bobmbay™ Gin bottle, and that's British, so i figured that this place was alright.

My daily routine starts with an elevator ride to the open-air rooftop restaurant for a continental breakfast selection that includes an array of the following: various dry cereals including Wheatabix™ (for the Canadians), an array of sliced fresh fruit, a cheese patter with all kinds of stinky cheeses (the French), an assortment of breads and sliced cold deli meats (Germans), and steam trays filled with all kinds of cooked sausages, bacon and compulsory scrambled eggs. The distinct lack of pickled herring leads me to believe that Norwegians don't necessarily travel here for vacation.

Since it's Summer here, the weather has generally been around 85 degrees, though Tuesday's high temperature hit 96. Normally I can handle this, but the 6th floor office that I'm working in doesn't have air conditioning. The ceiling fan also leaves something to be desired. Yesterday morning, as I headed into the office for a 5:30am location scout, I was pleasantly greeted by a city blanked in a marine layer of fog, and a light, wet, cool breeze that reminded me of San Francisco in June. If I'm not mistaken, the temperature is going to jet back up today.


To be continued….






Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Tomorrow Never Knows

Here's a trio of great music clips:

1. The Beatles perform Smack My Bitch Up. (this is SO awesome)

2. I'm sorry I was unable to witness this MOAM? Theremin Battle at the Independent on Monday Night. (thanks Joan!!)

3. A local favorite in a local venue. Dirty Beaches. For a minute, I thought that it was going to be Pries w/ "Choppin' Broccoli".
















"She's chop'in brocco-lay
Chop'in brocco-lay
She's chop-eah-un!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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How Do You Support Your...

... Rock n' Roll Lifestyle?

Sometime TNSC house band front man John McCrea certainly summed it up best. With that I give you a collection of the 50 Worst Band Photos Ever, and Rock and Roll Confidential's Hall of Douchebags.














"Aging black leather
And hospital bills
And tattoo removal
And dozens of pills

Your liver pays dearly now
For youthfull magic moments
But rock on completely
With some brand new components.

Now, how do you afford you rock 'n' roll lifestyle?"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Pie

A graphical way to think about cocktails.

And some updated news about SF's own "Anchor™ Empire".




















"The bartender just
Lets my tab slide.
Who's takin' who here
For a ride?
For a while...
At the Starlight Lounge..."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Baby Got Back

Local snippets from Zeitgeist's renovation. The decal-riddled bar back is apparently gone, along with who knows what else. I'm awaiting it's imminent reopen, as it's such great place to enjoy a shot & a beer.











"I'm gonna sue Jack Daniels for hitting me
With a trunk of a big ol' live oak tree.
He hurt me this morning with the bright sun light
I'm gonna sue Jack Daniels for what he did to my face last night!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Hair of the Dog

I actually had a minute this week to kick out a couple of Linkies that I had been sitting on:

1. The future of Central American portable beverages

2. In the 1980's What-the-Fuck department, I give you excessive budgets and cocaine-fueled production (courtesy of Ms. Lake)














"Don't store the whiskey bottles on the lowest lying shelves
Easily accessible to tiny little elves
Neighbors start to gossip when our children start to play
Crown Royal bags aren't mittens on a cold winter's day"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Rhebus Deux
















































































Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Rhebus
























































Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Wamble Crop’d

Now that our 112th Congress has convened and started the session with a reading of the US Constitutio , (albeit an "amended" version - removing the parts about black slaves being 3/5ths of a person, etc.) let us pause for a moment and reflect upon some earlier writing from Founding Father Benjamin Franklin. This is from the January 6th 1737 editio of the Pennsylvania Gazette. (that's 274 years ago for you non-mathematicians).

Let us not forget Jack Black's historically accurate portrayal of Mr. Franklin.














"Last night i dreamed that I passed from the scene
And I went to a place so sublime
Aw, the water was clear and tasted like beer
Then they turned it all into wine"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Randomz

Every now and then I like to check in to see what the , resident asshole is up to. So damn funny.

And who said that billboard advertising isn't timely?















"It's hard to beleive I've gone and done it again
Went to a place to see all of my friends
One little sip and now look at me
If this bar were school I'd have a degree."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Travel Tips II

In our continuing travel trivia, 35 Secrets Your Pilot Won't Tell You. Glad I'm sticking around the house this Holiday Season.

Let's check in to see what's happening in There, I Fixed It!






















"What I did on my vacation
For the last ten years
Took pictures of your town
Plaid perfume on my breath
I mean I've been drinking Scotch
While touring through your town."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Travel Tips

Some of you may have experienced it this past weekend, many of you may in the upcoming month. But TNSC is just making sure that you're fully suited up for impending air travel. Do so w/ fine high-tech 4th Amendment wear. Stick it to the TSA!!

And they're always the low-tech option. Love that the earrings make it through.

























"I'll explain in the morning
Baby that's no lie,
But tonight little honey,
I'm oh so high.

I'm just happy to he beer
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
Because the kitchen bright's too light."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Winter Training

So now that baseball season is over, it's going to be a long spell until Spring Training rolls around. I'm looking into one of these to help keep me occupied. Wait. What?!? That's way too expensive for a chunk of broken wood.



There is also always this.




















"My right hand holds a cold Corona™ bottle
My left hand holds a half a fifth of Gin
My right arm reaches out for her love only
But my left still embraces a life of sin."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Fuc*in' Computers

I'm seriously thinking about something like this!

That's all you get till next week.


















Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Fall Fitness

Just as I suspected, I'm quite possibly healthy as a horse! Or at least should be. I'm certainly down with the 16oz power-lifts.
























"Dirty, dry, up or in between,
From the very first sip you know what I mean,
When you're out with a babe you don't nickel or dime,
Guessin' that means it's Martini time!" >Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Sometimes...

... one just needs a reminder. Other times, just a cat in a sink.























"Smoke in one hand looking for a light
Martini in the other hand
Pointing out midnight."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Alien Secretio

Fallout from the plethora of "web v1.5" sites that allow viewer submissio s - like Webtender (I love how their interface hasn't been updated in 12 years), now bring us the "dark side" - aka "the 10 Nastiest Cocktails in Human History". Thanks for the visual reinforcement.

I do like music, and though I'm not the most religious person, I do appreciate Slayer Goes to Church.

















"Loco Gringos like a party with five bales of hay!
Jumpin' in the dumpster with Pepe, ole!
Loco Gringos like a party
And they like their women firm.
And when they drink tequila
They fight for the worm."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Cracked Rear View

1. I had heard that quaint expressio long before Hootie and the Blowfish ruined it.

2. I witnessed much of it in Hawaii. Some good. Some bad.

Who said that drunks never have any aspiratio s?

Oh. It's satire. Sorry. But it's pretty fu*kin' funny.

















"I'll be one wild man, I'll drink and dance all fine
Baby if you leave, I'll have me one white line
So if you start that car and drive it down the street
Roll your window down your gonna feel that beat

Yea, yea, yea i'll be party mad
And for all the while you'll wish for what we had"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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The Garden Island

Vacationing this past week on Kauai has been fantastic. And we're not done yet. TNSC mid-Pacific would like to share a few historical facts about the Westernmost island of the Hawaiian chain (at least how they apply to me):

• Frank Sinatra performed at the Kauai County Fair in 1954. The performance signaled the beginning of public acceptance his re-ascent into the performer that earned him the crown "Greatest Performer of the 20th Century". He also almost drowned here in 1964 while shooting "None but the Brave".

• Elvis'most commercially successful film "Blue Hawaii" (1961) was shot here at the now dilapidated "Coco Palms".

• Hurricane Iniki (1992) wiped out the sets of Jurrasic Park on the final day of shooting. All 130 crew members (including a young "Spaz" Williams) were safely relocated out of harm's way.

If you guys want more "actual" history, please consult TNSC list members and Hawaii natives Heather Lake and Megan Callan. They'll regale you w/ more interesting trivia.

The other awesome thing about Hawaii is that there are lawns EVERYWHERE. And all of them seem freshly shorn and lushly green at all times. Which reminded me... I figured that I'd find this story in one of the Hawaiian papers... but alas, it's from California.
















"The bartender just
Lets my tab slide
Who's takin' who here
For a ride?

For a while...
At the Starlight Lounge."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.