San Francinqo

Being that we're just past that festive Mexican holiday, here are some alternatives to the bottled Margarita mix and Jose Cuervo.

A quick history of cocktails from Broke Ass Stuart.

And speaking of history (with a nod toward "local") I give you a brief visual history of the Golden Gate Bridge, as well as a windfall of Mark Twain letters.

** links courtesy of Ms. Heather Lake  **

"It's hard to believe I've gone and done it again
Went to a place to see all of my friends
One little sip and now look at me
If this bar were school I'd have a degree"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Whiskey Whimsy

A really good reason to drink bourbon.  (caution:  geek-speak)

A really bad reason not to.  (yes, it's being destroyed)

Make mine a double!!  (we're far behind Manhattan, though)

And marketing a bad judgement.

"You don't have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
**hicup**  I'm drunk!!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Letters to the Editor

Via Ms. Megan Callan.

Via  Ms. Heather Lake.

Via  Mr. TNSC Robot.

"Lucky strike filters every night n' day.
A shot of Jack Black an' I'm ready to play.
I know it ain't healthy but it's quite alright.
Til' I find a woman better than Lucky Strikes."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Corporate Cocktails

From J Crew (okay... Drunken J Crew)

And mall-favorite, Brookstone.  You have got to be fucking kidding me.  One needs a scale, and a detailed recipe, to make a Gin & Tonic?!?  What the hell is this crazy world coming to?

Even this picture disgusts me....

"Hanging with friends
We were doing slammers
They try and get me hammered
Boss, I said "No"
But they insisted!!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Shaken and Stirred...

Bars come and go...

Bartenders come (I've had the honor of being served by him on several occasions w/o a single 86)

and bartenders go....

And then... some rich fuck gives their cat a toy.

(links courtesy of Lake)

 

"I live my life on a layer of ice
Just like those poured by my bartender Vice
Any taste of vermouth should be really sublime
When you have a good martini time!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Like Rabbits...

Ms. Heather Lake provides us a well-curated batch of Spring / Easter-related links:


What better way to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ than with Creepy Easter Bunnies?

April Fool's and St. Stupid's Day pranks from the Cacophony Society (when SF was a more artist-driven town.)

And speaking of stupid... there's always Indiana.

Now THIS would be cool if true.  Some recently discovered blueprints and documents reveal secret tunnels under the Playboy™ Mansion.  Now I've been to the mansion, and I kind of think it's kind of far-fetched, but I can tell you all about some other areas there...
 

"Dirty, dry, up, or in between,
From the very first sip you know what I mean,
When you're out with a babe you don't nickel or dime,
Guessin' that means it's Martini time."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Ground Zero

Just thinking about the recent passing of SF "person of character," Jay Johnson.

Jay was one of those figures that made San Francisco so unique.  I remember him from when he opened the "Ground Zero" coffee shop in the incredibly dicey Lower Haight area in 1985.

Fast forward a few years, and there was Jay at a different "ground zero."  This one was at his new endeavor , the undeniably Art Deco "Club Deluxe."  With the swing-revival gaining steam, Jay was the one leading both the retro and burgeoning craft-cocktail charges throughout the 90's.

His third endeavor was instrumental in the formation of the Thursday Night Social Club.  With the opening of a second incredibly beautiful Art Deco bar in an Art Deco apartment building in 1993, the Orbit Room became "home base" for TNSC during its inception in late 1996.

But less about us, and more about Jay.  More than just overseeing operations that dispensed magic and dreams, he also was an incredible entertainer.  He possessed an impressive voice with all the nuance of a seasoned Sinatra, but at the same time everything was tempered with an air of cantankerousness when he wasn't on stage.

He will be missed by many, and it's good to know that so much of what he gave to San Francisco will keep on giving.  I'm sure that he's rubbing heavenly elbows with the other cocktail king of Haight Street, Bruno Mooshei, trading stories, and talking about Sinatra.

Here's the official obituary.

This one is for you, Jay.

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Man Overboard!!!

Ms. Heather Lake "throws out" these links to save this robot's shiny metal ass.

Get your nightclub name here.

For you science nerds, here's some Craft Beer Chemistry.

"You don't have to remind me
I smell like a skunk.
Excuse me, baby but
*hiccup*, I'm drunk!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Young At Heart

Why not get them started early?  It's at least good for a laugh.

And the youngest Tech entrepreneur.  (great.. lives in the Mission)

Lastly, things that only happen in San Francisco (but you knew that already)

** links courtesy of Ms. Heather Lake

"Please don't take the baby to the liquor store
That's not the kind of bottle he's been cryin' for.
Take our milk money and walk right out the door
But please don't take the baby to the liquor store."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

The Final Frontier

... in watering holes.

Drinking across the country.

And around the world.

And in the final frontier. 

** links courtesy of Ms. Heather Lake

"I got a red car with blue tail lights
Shiny red seats with piping in white
Leopard skin dash with a louvered hood
She goes ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba when she's runnin' good"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

No Diving No Horseplay.

Ms. Heather Lake kindly points out the continued spate of venerable, working-class, elbow-to-elbow San Francisco dive bars that are disappearing at an accelerated rate, and that doesn't bode well for the majority of us.  A bar of character is a terrible thing to waste.

From the “Old time bars closing only to be replaced by douchey Edison light bars patronized by tech bros” department:


The Tenderloin's Club 21

And the Mission's Lexington Club

Which reminds me... I was dancing in the lesbian bar...

"The bar stools propping up a twenty dollar whore,
Recantin' recitations from a lonesome tale of yore

for a while...
At the Starlight Lounge..."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Alterna-bars 91

Ms. Heather  Lake dutifully submits these bar optio s:

In the backyard. (move over" Man Cave")

On the road. (Happier campers, one and all)

On foot.  (got several of those suckers...)

And finally, may you never have to invoke Emergency Protocol 417.

"The Cadillac hearse
Tequila bottle fins
At gringo manor
The party really never ends"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

VD (ay)

Just in case you need a modern VDay card for your significant other, just before you take him/her to see "50 Shades."

And seriously, someone has WAY too much time on their hands: Bar Brawl Supercut.

* all links courtesy of Ms. Heather Lake

"I look up to the heavens

For a ray of hope to shine
And there it is in neon
Liquor, beer and wine"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Psy-ence!!!

Or maybe Pseudo-Science.  But whatever you call it, I'll take it - as long as their findings revolve around things like exercise replacement and brain cell damage control.

There is also real old-school science intersecting with music.

And there's also just random silliness*.

* all links courtesy of Heather Lake

"Fantasy and microchips
Shooting from the hip
Something different
We're makin'
Weird science"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Hyphy-nated

So apparently there is life after rap.

Bay Area rap legend E-40 has expanded upon his Earl Stevens Selections wine empire (heavy on Moscato - the wine of my Northern Italian heritage) with the introduction of his latest pre-blended "fortified" product apptly named "Sluricane."  (with an obvious nod to the "N'awlins" beverage of choice)

More on his wine from the Sac Bee (Mangoscato?!?!?) along with a splashy (pardon the pun) roll-out from BevMo.

"It's just like moonshine
Have you on yo face
I mean you be slutterin'
And what not
Next thing you know
You don't know how you got home"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Lake's Lynx

Yes, that's what they are.

This week:

Retro Home Bars  (where every hour is cocktail hour)

The Porn Star Martini (in honor of Pr0n Robot)

Sober January (hint:  Nobody likes a quitter...)  If you're going to pick a month, at least make it February.  Fewer days, ya know?

"They come together
To flirt and to tease
In the dimly lit shade
Under the Cocktail Trees
Under the Cocktail Trees"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Breaking Bad

We're only 2 weeks into 2015 and "bad" seems to be everywhere:

Bad drinking news (they obviously don't drink gin...)

Bad week for space (w/ Ted Cruz being appointed to oversee NASA and US having to take refuge in the Russian side of the International Space Station - this might help)

And a bad week in Ohio (if you can’t trust your bartender who CAN you trust?)

Meanwhile, what is your state drinking?

(Links courtesy of Ms. Heather Lake)

"I'm the baddest of the bad since you've been gone,
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone.
I lay around here and I just drink beer
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Happy 80th, Elvis!

We're back with a new year, and on such a special day - Elvis Presley's 80th Birthday.  Now that's something to truly celebrate.

Some links courtesy of Ms. Heather Lake:

I get it.  You're you're young, well-paid, have an exorbitant rent, and can't make a drink to save your life.  You're gonna need a Somabar.

Speaking of technology, here's an AutoCAD update of Florian Römhild's 2010 illustration.

Courtesy of the "Beeb" here's a handy portal to reveal your "drinking nationality" (I'm Romania, or something)

And in case you're still pining for the past holidays, we give you Awkward Xmas Autocorrects.

"You can burn my house,
Steal my car,
Drink my liquor
From an old fruit jar.
Do anything that you want to do, but uh-uh,
Honey, lay off of my shoes!!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Are We There Yet?!?

As we're nearly on the verge of Christmas (whatever that means) Ms. Heather Lake passes along these seasonal doozies:

Awkward family photos (Christmas versio )

Preemptive Christmas Disco Songs.


And why 1970's Christmases were better.

"Santa put his arm around Momma
And Momma put her arm around him
So if Santa Claus ain't Daddy
Then I'm gonna tell on them

Well, Santa looked a lot like Daddy
And Daddy looked a lot like him
It's not the way I had him pictured
Santa was much too thin"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Putting the "Ass" in Class

Ms. Heather Lake drops these timely Links:

'Tis the season for Scotch.

The very picture of class and refinement.

Here.. not so much.  Here either.

"What I did on my vacation
For the last ten years
Took pictures of your town
Plaid perfume on my breath
I mean I've been drinking Scotch
While touring through your town"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

It's Beginning to Smell a Lot Like Christmas

We once distributed a custom "Little Trees" air freshener w/ the above phrase on it to all of our clients as a company Christmas card.  I just thought about that.

Meanwhile, here are some links for your viewing pleasure:

Artisanal ice perspective.  Damn SF Commie rag.

Useful Holiday tips via the incomparable Ms. Lake.

An old spin on Black Friday?

And it's official... all things weird start in Germany. 

"Don't store the whiskey bottles on the lowest lying shelves
Easily accessible to tiny little elves
Neighbors start to gossip when our children start to play
Crown Royal™ bags aren't mittens on a cold Winter's day"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Thanksgiving

"Thanks" (literally) to Ms. Heather Lake for her Linkey submissio s throughout the year.

Here are some Thanksgiving links to enjoy until next week:

"All that Baste"

10 Gross Pumpkin Cocktails to Avoid

Plymouth Rock tumblr?

In the days before Macy's Day Parades, there were Ragamuffin Parades.

"I'd like to thank everyone that didn't call the law
To come and drag me in
Last night you saw me drinkin' Wild Turkey
But you'll never see me drink it again"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Beethoven's 1st Movement

Time for the annual Fall Linkey-Loo list for our venerable city:


1.  San Francisco's Oldest Bars

2.  10 Best Dive Bars with Food

3.  12 Best Bars with Fireplaces

Even from across the country, Ms. Heather Lake dutifully submits these FINE musical links:

Shit Record Covers (some real doozies here...)

The San Francisco Songbook (some real classics here...)

And pop quiz:  Cocktail Name or Karaoke Song?


Let us not forget the "Velvet Fog" - and not just Mel Tormé.

"So drink up all you people
Order anything you see
Have fun you happy people
The laughs and the jokes are on me."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Liszts

Time for the annual Fall Linkey-Loo list for our venerable city:


1.  San Francisco's Oldest Bars

2.  10 Best Dive Bars with Food

3.  12 Best Bars with Fireplaces

"You don't have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
(hicup) I'm drunk."

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC

Novemberfest

Why stop just because October is over?

(Early November links courtesy of Ms. Heather Lake)

This one is for Lee "Fireball" Gardner.  If it's good enough for the Scandahoovians, it's good enough for me!

And a couple of beer related links:  Golden (lager) retrievers, (dood... put on some shoes, and hang some art on those walls) and rip-roarin' bottle openers.  Really?  They should use Guinness.

"And all of my friends
Including me are insane.
It's a little hide-a-way
To hide away from the pain.
YEAH!!"

Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC