Baseball & Michael Bay


Baseball has always been a family sport. That's goin' yard!

And from the blog of long-time TNSC list member Heather Lake: Revenge of the Nerds. My favorite part is :35 in. But then I'm always a sucker for inebriated robots. And God just may hate Michael Bay.


I think that Josh would agree on both counts.



















"I been drinkin' and smokin' cigarettes.
I been lookin' for a woman I have not met.
I have not found her yet.
Til' I do it's a sure fire bet.
I'll be drinkin' and smokin cigarettes!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Good vs. Evil


Unlike FOX™ News, we at TNSC really are "fair and balanced". No kidding. Except maybe around last-call - but that's another story.

Thanks to Camper English, here's a little compilation of "Good/Bad" booze claims so you can decide for yourself.

Pr0n robot, Tama, passes on the Awesome Drunk Internet Hall-of-Fame. Word to the wise. Avoid cameras and the intertron. Just saying.




















"It's hard to beleive I've gone and done it again,
Went to a place to see all of my friends.
One little sip and now look at me,
If this bar were school I'd have a degree!
You gotta hand it to me."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Lists


Awesome coverage of 12 Unfortunate Beards & Mustaches for a Mugshot.

Since I'm in advertising, and am fond of of men's after-shave, I thought I'd pass on 42 Greatest Old Spice™ Commercials. I'm partial to #2, for some reason.


Oh... Happy Birthday Jason!
























"Last night I had a run in with an old friend of mine
Everthing was cool, everyone was feeling fine yeah!!
Then he went up and hit me with the old dance floor
Lawsutis pending won't be the same no more no!!

I'm gonna sue Jack Daniels for
Hitting me with a trunk of a big ol' live oak tree.
He hurt me this morning with the bright sun light
I'm gonna sue Jack Daniels for what he did to my face last night!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Potpourri


As part of our continued public service to our TNSC family, we give you this handy little tip if you're ever caught short without a corkscrew. I think that it works even w/o subtitles or Hush Puppies™.

Longtime TNSC list member Chris Hamilton submits this fine "Struttin' video. Chris has always had an affinity for the South.

Lastly, in what reads like a cross-sectio of TNSC venues, here is an alphabetized list of places to get wasted and do blow in San Francisco. I can say with absolute certainty that TNSC has visited 33 of the following establishments:























"I'm just happy to he beer
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
Because the kitchen bright's too light!

Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby...
You don't have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
**hic!!** I'm drunk!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

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Biannual Checkup


Just like visiting the doctor or dentist (and we're at that mid-year point), here's a "checkup" with a couple of our favorite Linkeys:

People of Walmart™ and Hot Chicks with Douchebags.





















"Like a cool Daiquiri,
With the twist of a lime,
I could get used to this
All of the time.

I could get used to it!
I could get used to it!
I thought it would be bad
But it didn't hurt a bit
Ohhh!! Baby, I could get used to it!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

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Worst of the Worst


I'll make it quick:

15 worst logo fails ever.

55 worst tattoos ever.


















"Yeah, the Starlight Lounge
is a happy little place.
A really fun place where
you can lose your face.

And all of my friends
including me are insane.
It's a little hide-a-way
to hide away from the pain."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Oxymornonic


I see the researchers at University of Cincinnati & Moscow State University have been hard at work unlocking the science behind Vodka's tasty secrets. What?!?

And a few words of advice on what NOT to do after returning home from a fun-filled Thursday Night Social Club. Words to live by. (I personally love all of the auto-generated Google™ ads that accompany the link)


















"We knocked another couple back
The dead soldiers lined up on the table
Still prepared for an attack
They didn't know they'd been disabled
Felt a wave, a rush of blood,
You won't be happy 'til the bottle's broken
You're out swimming in the flood
You kept back, you kept unspoken

For someone half as smart, you'd be a work of art
You put yourself apart
And I can't help you until you start"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

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Booze News (local editio )


I shed a tear when coming across this story of crazy Russian lady vs. liquor aisle at a local SF market. I immediately thought of TNSC list member Dafna Kory, but then just realized that her product assault would take place in the both the jam and condiment aisles.

Since a few members of this board are overwhelmed w/ the Chicago Blackhawks' Stanley Cup victory, I thought I'd kick it up a notch above "Stanley" and turn it to the World Cup. Specifically, local joints to view the action. C'mon, America!! Give TNSC (Far East) list member Mark Bobek some bragging rights around the Hong Kong pubs!

And good news for TNSC stalwart Jason Porter, Maker's Mark is introducing it's newest bourbon in over 50 years. And just in time for JPo's BDay.




















"I love to hear the beat shuffle on the honkytonk floor.
When the bar starts to close I holler 'Give me one more!!'
I'll be sitting in the darkest corner I can find
Holdin' baby's hand and sippin' wine."



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Diamond in the Rough

I can't remember if I posted this before, but I recently ran across this little "gem": solo track of David Lee Roth from 1977 laying down the vocal track for "Runnin' with the Devil". (speakers UP!!) Pure awesomeness. I've always loved the fact that long-time TNSC list member Mark "Spark" Sorenson always considered Van Halen's eponymous first release a comedy album.

Since this posting has already made a turn toward the South (as in LA), next time that you are down there for your Disneyland and Universal Studios vacatio s, be sure to book yourself on the LA Gang Tour.
























"What i did on my vacation
For the last ten years
Took pictures of your town
Plaid perfume on my breath.

I mean i've been drinking Scotch
While touring through your town."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Mmmmmm..... beeeeeeeeerrrr.....

Since we've nearly plowed through May and Summer is just around the corner (even though it's raining?!?), I give you three beer links:

Beer in the News.


Beer and Baseball.


Beer and the housing market.
























"I stubbed my toe on the kitchen sink.
I was just gonna go get me somethin' to drink.
My cigarette flew and it couldn't be found!
Lucky I didn't burn your whole house down.

Quietly here I'll sleep.
I won't even make a peep.
You won't even know I'm here.
Just letting you know that we're out of beer.

I'm couch surfin'!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

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Simplicity

As the summer blockbuster season is among us and big-budget Visual Effects will splash across (and out of) theater screens across the country, remember that just about any one-legged Mexican monkey with a computer and some spare time can do this stuff nowadays. I sometimes long for the time when Visual Effects took lots of planning and were executed like this.

Those were times when one ordered a Martini, it would generally be served on the rocks.

Also, I read Vanity Fair™, so you don't have to. Thanks for bullet-point #5, Tony.


































"Dirty, dry up, or in between,
From the very first sip you know what I mean.
When you're out with a babe you don't nickel or dime,
Guessin' that means it's martini time. "



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Lessons in Alcohol

We don't always have stupid links here. Occasionally we like to take the high road in present some intellectual stuff, too. For instance, here's a GREAT interview w/ writer Daniel Okrent about the rise (and fall) of Prohibitio . Stream the interview when you can. It's pretty insightful.

TNSC member Heather Lake submitted this link about the correlation between alcohol and intellect, complete w/ bar graphs!! As usual, the commentary chain is worth the price of admissio .

And lastly, a NY Times guide to DVD and alcohol pairing.





























"It's hard to beleive I've gone and done it again
Went to a place to see all of my friends.
One little sip and now look at me
If this bar were school I'd have a degree."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Artist's Corner

On today's segment of TNSC's "Artist's Corner", we're showcasing artist, performer, and San Francisco legend Mr. Lucky.

Our interstitial artist-of-the-week is San Francisco's own guitar/saw duo
Ramshackle Romeos.

Catch them at a TNSC gathering near you soon!! (like... tonight)






















"I live my life for a layer of ice
Just like those poured by my bartender 'Vice'.
Any taste of vermouth should be really sublime,
When you have a good martini time!

It's Martini time (vodka ice shaker!),
Martini time (olive or lime!),
Martini time (gotta have glasses!),
Perfectly poured and top of the line."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Mad Men

Ah, yes... 60's Advertising at it's finest. THAT'S the stuff I (hazily) remember as a kid on TV. Not that particular ad, but ones with that kind of naiveté.

I'm sure you've all seen it. In case you haven't, let's cross our fingers for continued (and expanded) success of our
favorite San Francisco Brand. (sorry for the ad pop-up)























"When it's busted by the filter there's a trick that I found,
You break it on apart then you turn it around,
You slide it in easy and you twist it in tight,
Hey buddy got a light?

Well I'm full,
Full of that malt liquor bull.
But I'm set,
I got a crooked cigarette."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Um... Yeah

This is one bar that I'll pass on visiting, thank you very much.



No picture necessary.



"Baby boom or "X",
I don't know what I am,
All I need to know is when it's time to slam.
Threw a little party cause it just felt right,
It lasted ten years and it's goin' on tonight.
Yeah!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Stompin'

From the desk of Heather Lake: A noble experiment where the heralded blogger attempts an alphabetical start-to-finish cocktail creation from the "old testament" of Cocktails, The Savoy Cocktail Book. I'd imagine that some of the ingredients may be hard to find these days. I love old stuff like that.

In the "Todd Lindo Approves this Link" department, what ever happened to that glorious future that we were all promised in the past?!?!?

Hope everyone got their taxes posted. The lovely Mrs. Chimenti has been busting ass for the past few months to make sure that all of her clients (some TNSC members) submitted their returns in a timely manner. Give her a hand.































"Last night I had a run in with an old friend of mine
Everything was cool, everyone was feeling fine yeah!!
Then he went up and hit me with the old dance floor
Lawsuits pending won't be the same no more no!!

I'm gonna sue Jack Daniels for
Hitting me with a trunk of a big ol' live oak tree.
He hurt me this morning with the bright sun light
I'm gonna sue Jack Daniels for what he did to my face last night!!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Leftovers

Last week, on the holiest of Thursdays, I failed to remember that the Easter weekend was upon us, and that I had some Easter linkeys in the "hopper", so to speak. So... you get them this week.

Submitted by the always effervescent Heather Lake: Sketchy Bunnies.

A second link that I ran across will hopefully amuse both Sue(bee) Erokan, and The most Reverend Bishop Mclendo: Peeps!!





























"I'm just happy to he beer
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
Because the kitchen bright's too light."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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No Fool Like a Young Fool

In high school, I just squeaked by w/ a passing grade in my "University Chemistry" class. Why, you may ask? Because I didn't really find much "everyday use" or correlation to the concepts. But had I had "real world" examples like this, I'm sure I would have aced the course. But that's probably Physics, isn't it?

Contrary to this week's title, there's really nothing foolish about that link. BUT.... there certainly is with this one!!





























"Now the dim lights and the drinking seem like fun I know
But she'll find out one morning you reap just what you sow
The sad part is she'll be alone once she starts to fall
There's no fool like a young fool who thinks she knows it all.

It breaks my heart to see her sitting there
With tavern lights shining in her hair
Life won't be as sweet to her tomorrow as today
There's no fool like a young fool who throws her life away..."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Jailbreak

Now that TNSC MIA member Jason Porter lets us all know that we can get a new one of these, why not take it for a test run with a couple of these?

Wait... isn't that just an un-incarcerated man's Pruno?

































"It's hard to beleive I've gone and done it again
Went to a place to see all of my friends
One little sip and now look at me
If this bar were school I'd have a degree"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Lucky Charms

I have to say... this installation of one of my favorite internet comics could have been lifted directly from the life of our heralded founder and Chief Robot Josh Johnson. (I apologize in advance for the lame "residual"pop-up)

Without offending any of you fine descendants from the Emerald Isle, thank goodness "amateur night" is over.























"I'm calling in sick
I'm calling in twisted
I was drinking two-fisted
I'm sick
I'm calling in twisted

Hanging with friends
We were doing slammers
They try and get me hammered
Boss, I said "No"
But they insisted"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Blow Wheels!!!

Axle-busting, head gasket-blowing, TNSC list-member Chris Hamilton submits a link from this past week's "24 Hours of LeMons" at the Infineon Raceway. File this under "How Not to Race". The cool part, is that this is the view from Chris' car (before he blew a head gasket and broke both axles).

The only thing that comes close to that is the ever-popular Death Metal Rooster. (Thanks, Lee!!)


























"I got a red car with blue tail lights,
Shiny red seats with piping in white.
Leopard skin dash with a louvered hood,
She goes ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba when she's runnin' good,

Lets go!!!
Ride into the mountains above.
It's low.
My big red rocket of love."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

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Crestfallen

I was so jazzed having had my Linkey-Loos for the week completed early, only to find my pièce de résistance shown on The Colbert Report last night. Those guys totally usurped me!!

And in all honesty, due to many varying factors these past couple of weeks, I didn't see one second of the Winter Olympic coverage. Not even this performance from our old friends DEVO. But, that said, I saw this recent movement to add a new event that is so ridiculous that it might even get me to watch.

What's next? Fucking? It would bring a new meaning to the term "biathlon"































"The bartender just lets my tab slide
Who's takin' who here for a ride?
For a while...
At the Starlight Lounge."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Booze of the World

Occasionally, items in the news really seem to hit home, like this, and this.





























"Tell me about the Orbit Room now!
It seems the place,
The place of your doom now.
When I walk in,
Through that front door,
Will I see you there for evermore?
For never more..."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Fear & Loathing

In the "HEY-YOU-DAMN-KIDS-GET-OFFA-MY-LAWN!!" department, we find a fine piece of audio from the late Hunter S. Thompson ripping an Audio/Video Installation Tech Support a new one. (Thanks, Jason)

If you ever had any doubt about what beer to drink, this handy little flowchart might help. Click on it to enlarge. (that's what she said)























"I'm the baddest of the bad since you've been gone,
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone.
I lay around here and I just drink beer
The baddest of the bad since you've been gone."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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Pram Pushin'

TNSC stalwart Jason Porter will be happy to know that a cache of Ernest Shackelton's 100 year old Whisky (note, no "e") has been discovered in Antarctica.

For years British comedy, mainly Monty Python's Flying Circus, commanded my television attention and, to a degree, shaped my being. I loved that show. On the polar opposite was Star Trek. I can honestly say that I've never sat through one entire episode. I'm sure that it was good, but not in my book. BUT... I have a new found appreciation for Gene Roddenberry's work, thanks to a little YouTube™ Mash-Up.

(and just in case you need, god forbid, a point of reference).

























"Don't need tequila candy with the worm inside
It's hard for him to swallow, as well as our pride.
His dirty feet might dangle like it's some fun ride
But it's not a grocery basket when there's booze inside.

Please don't take the baby to the liquor store
It's not the kind of bottle he's been cryin' for
Take the milk money and walk right out the door
But please don't take the baby to the liquor store ."



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







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B&B

I love Bacon and I love "Bloodies". Thanks to former TNSC member Alie Ward, I can now get them both in one place.

And while enjoying such a concoction (but never after 2pm), I also like messing with TWOYOUTUBEVIDEOSANDAMOTHERFUCKINGCROSSFADER. THAT is precisely why the internet exists!!!



























"I been drinkin' and smokin' cigarettes.
I been lookin' for a woman I have not met.
I have not found her yet.
Til' I do it's a sure fire bet.
I'll be drinkin' and smokin cigarettes!"



Linkey-Loo Robot -

AJC







Suggest a link.